It only lasted a couple of seconds before the feeling reversed, like I was beginning to expand. I was unfolding, the sounds around us as loud as they’d ever been. Then my feet hit solid ground, and I took a stumbling step forward, Randall’s hand still in my own, even though I was sweating profusely, my palm slick in his.
We were outside the walls of Meridian City, the trees of the Dark Woods swaying in the distance.
“There,” Randall said, dropping my hand, wiping his own down the front of his robes. “As usual, you made a big deal out of nothing.”
I promptly threw up on his shoes.
“Oops,” I said, a string of bile hanging from my lips as my stomach clenched. “Sorry, dude.”
“Must everything about you be so vexing?” he growled at me.
“You just sucked me through a hole.” I paused, considering. Then, “Okay, I really need to work on my phrasing. But you get what I mean. Also, what the fuck was that? You could have warned me of the suckage!” I frowned. “That still didn’t come out right.”
“Funny,” Randall said, grimacing down as he tried to shake the vomit off his shoes. “Justin didn’t seem to have a problem with it. I guess that’s yet another thing he can do better than you.”
“Hey! Low blow, bro!”
“Yes, yes. How hard your life must be. Now, do you want to continue with your inane prattling, or do you want to help that dragon of yours?”
In the end, though, there really wasn’t much to be done. We rounded a corner toward where Kevin had fallen in time to see him bite the head off a Dark wizard, a gout of blood shooting up into the air. His injured wing was held gently against his side. Kevin’s lips pulled back in disgust before he spat out the head in a lick of fire.
Gary, for his part, was shimmering with copious amounts of glitter that swirled around him. A Dark wizard was running toward him, but Gary spun around quickly and kicked his back legs out just as the Dark reached him. Unicorn hooves collided with Dark wizard ribs, and in the end, it really wasn’t a contest, as the idiot flew back, skidding against the ground before coming to a stop, unmoving.
Tiggy was, of course, doing as a Tiggy did: smashing the ever-living daylights out of anything and everything that was threatening those around him. His fists were red, and he had a bit of gore on his face. He made a rather frightening figure. I was damn proud of him. And maybe a little jealous.
By the time Morgan and Ryan came running from the other side, the couple dozen or so Dark wizards that had apparently been waiting for Feng to bring me to them were burned to a crisp, smashed into a pulp, had met dragon’s tee
th, or were running screaming into the Dark Woods. I made to go after them, but Randall gripped my shoulder tightly, shaking his head.
And as much as I disagreed with him, I knew he had a point. It was better to have stragglers tell others what had happened. It might incite them, but it also could instill them with fear. And scared Darks were Darks who made mistakes.
And as a bonus, it would most likely piss off Myrin, who had now been essentially bested twice in the span of a few days.
“Wow,” I said so everyone could hear me. “I just came to the realization that we might be the most badass group of badasses that has ever badassed. I don’t know what to do with this information. I feel like there should be confetti. And medals. Can I have a medal?”
“You threw up on my feet,” Randall said.
“Oh. Right. Well, karma sucks, and all that. Still think I’d be okay if someone gave me a medal.”
Ryan gingerly stepped over what remained of the Darks (and almost put his foot on a liver) and made his way over to me. “You’ve got something gross on your chin,” he said. “How the hell did you get out here before us?”
I scowled as I used my arm to wipe the remains of my first time teleporting off me. “Randall’s fault.”
“Sam can’t handle my magic,” Randall said. “More’s the pity, I suppose.”
Before I could make his nose a dick, Ryan cupped my face, making me look away from Randall and at him instead. “You okay?”
I sighed. “I’m fine. Just… didn’t expect it.”
“I would kiss you, but you smell bad.”
“Thanks.”
“Yeah. Thought you should know.”
“No, really. Thanks.”
“I do want to kiss you, though. I’m just not going to. Maybe for a long time.”