“Well, fuck,” I muttered.
I know there are bigger things at play than just you and me. And I know there is so much hanging over you right now. But I saw the look on your face, Sam, when you were told of how potentially long your life could be in comparison to my own. To that of Justin and the King. To your parents’. And even though we haven’t had a chance to discuss it like we should, I know how much that hurt you. How much it probably scares you.
Sam, you are the greatest wizard I know.
“You only know a couple of wizards,” I said with a sniff.
I know I only know a couple of wizards, but it wouldn’t matter if I met every single one that ever existed, I would still think the same.
“Touché. You asshole.”
And I promise you this: even knowing everything I know now, even with all that has come toward us, if I had to do this all over again, I would choose you. Every time, I would choose you. Life isn’t defined by how long it is. It’s the moments you have while you’re alive. And even if I age and you don’t, or if something were to happen to one of us before the other, I have been filled with so many moments between you and I (don’t make that dirty, I’m trying to be sweet) that I have lived a thousand lifetimes since I was a fucking asshole mothercracking jerk and waited until I was getting married to someone else to tell you how I felt. And I know that I’ve felt this way, in some way shape or form, since that day in the alley, even if all I wanted to do back then was beat the ever-loving shit crap stuffing out of you.
These are the moments I cherish, because I cherish you.
Don’t do anything stupid. And get that look off your face I know is there right now because I just said that. I’m being serious. DON’T DO ANYTHING STUPID.
“We might know each other a little too well,” I said with a frown.
Everything will be all right. I’m coming for you. Even as you read this, I’m coming for you.
(Don’t make that dirty either. I’m not doing impressions of Kevin.)
I laughed. It sounded a little hoarse.
So just hold on a little while longer, okay? Listen to Randall (DON’T MURDER HIM!!!!!). I’ll be by your side again before you know it.
And after I let you fuck me stupid (and I’m going to leave that as is, because “let you mothercrack me stupid” sounds terrible, and sometimes I really dislike that fact that you won’t let me cuss. I AM A GROWN FUCKING MOTHERCRACKING MAN), you and I are going to have a long talk about everything. All cards on the table, okay?
Because that’s what it means to be a cornerstone, Sam. I’m not only here to help you build your magic. I am here to help you carry your burdens, to make them my own so that you know that you’re not alone in this.
So.
Be good.
Stay safe.
I love you.
Ryan Foxheart.
PS: Found this in our room before we left C
astle Lockes. Thought you might need a little reminder. Keep it safe, because it’s one of the first times in my life that I allowed myself to hope for something more.
RF
At first I thought something was missing. And then I saw the little scrap of paper that had fallen to the floor. My eyes stung as I bent over to pick it up, and even though I’d just parted from him mere hours ago, I felt Ryan’s absence keenly.
I snagged the paper, picking it up and unfolding it. When I saw what was written on it, I laughed until my sides hurt. Of course he would find this. Of course he would know I’d kept it. And I had, because it was one of my most precious treasures, however odd that might have been.
On it were thirteen words that meant more to me than most anything else I owned. A corner had ripped—an accident—and the paper had been creased so much that I worried it would one day tear. But today was not that day. I read the words again and again and knew that I would do everything I could to make sure Myrin never took this away from me.
The thirteen words?
To Mervin:
Don’t worry.