And then we sailed off the ramp into nothing.
I was not proud of the noise that came from me.
It was loud.
And high-pitched.
And sounded like a rather large animal was dying.
The dragons snarled in triumph behind us.
But then there was another dragon right
in front of us, and I had time to say, “Oh fucking shit—” before great black wings opened, claws reaching and grabbing us out of midair, snapping the sail on the board, pole breaking in two.
And then Kevin roared.
Chapter 13: Reunited and It Feels So Good
I GAPED up at him, the snow swirling around us. I didn’t think I’d ever been so glad to see anyone in my life. “Kevin! How the hell did you—”
But then the two feathered dragons were above us, and Kevin said, “Ladies, ladies, ladies, maybe we could just talk about this—” but their claws were extended, reaching, ready to tear, and Kevin said, “See? This is why I suck cock, because fuck this noise,” and he tilted backward, folding his wings at his sides. I was hit with a dizzying sense of vertigo as he fell, and we were pointed directly at the feather dragons, but then he completed his backflip and twisted upright, clutching us close to his chest.
“I am so badass,” Kevin crowed as we tore down the side of the mountain. “Look at me doing flips and shit.”
“What is even happening right now!” I screamed up at him.
“What does it look like? I’m saving your ass!”
“Oh! That’s… good. You know what? Keep doing that!”
“Why, thank you for your permission, pretty. I will expect you to put your gratitude all over my body once this is done and over with.”
“We get out of this, I just might!” Then I turned to Randall, who was squished up against me, his face near mine. I lowered my voice and said, “I’m not going to do that because I’m not into interspecies relationships. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Then I kissed Randall on the tip of his bulbous nose because I was so happy to be alive.
“You and I are going to have so many words after this,” he warned me, sounding extraordinarily grumpy.
I was giddy for many, many reasons. “All the words,” I agreed.
“What did you do to piss these two off?” Kevin asked, swerving to the right to avoid a gout of flame.
“I existed,” I said.
“Ah, that’ll do it. You certainly seem to garner that type of reaction.”
“It’s my face.”
“It’s a nice face.”
“Why thank you—wait a godsdamn minute. How are you even here right now? Your wing is”—I glanced over at said appendage—“apparently just fine, what the hell. It healed?”
“Good as new,” Kevin said cheerfully, as if we weren’t being chased. He folded his wings again and flew through a large stone arch that rose from the side of the mountain. “I was hoping it would leave a scar, because everyone knows scars are sexy, but alas, it was for naught! My body is apparently too amazing and healed right over.”
“Your body is amazing! I can’t believe—wait. You cannot take that as me hitting on you—”
“Too late,” Kevin said with a leer. “I am going to do you so gross later, you don’t even know.”
Randall wasn’t amused. “Can we not talk about how you’re going to take Sam carnally?”