“What?” I stared at them. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m pretty godsdamn hot.”
“Well, we really have no one to blame but ourselves for that ego,” Gary said. “All of us. But not really me. Or mostly Tiggy.”
“It’s true,” Tiggy said, nodding solemnly.
“What about all the things that want to have sex with me?” I demanded.
“Oh, honey,” Gary said. “That’s because you’re adorable, not because you know how to flirt.”
“You are not doing this,” Ryan growled. “I’m not going to just stand there and watch while you flirt with a man who’s not even as big around as my cock.”
“Oh my,” Gary said, staring down at Ryan’s crotch. “Hello, Knight Commander.”
“Even Justin thinks this is a good idea,” I said, glaring at them.
Justin blinked. “I think what now?”
I smiled at him because he wasn’t on my shit list like everyone else. “Remember? You told me that you liked how I jumped in feetfirst without overthinking things and that my plans were super awesome and that you were my best friend 5eva.”
The others turned slowly to look at him, mouths open wide.
He took a step back, hands raised in front of him. “Don’t look at me like that! I didn’t say that at all!”
“He really did,” I said. “We were sitting by the fire, and he told me he admired me and that I should leap for my future or something. Also, he said that I look good in nice trousers.”
“You were hitting on him?” Ryan snarled at the Prince.
“You are such a liar, Sam of Wilds!” Justin cried.
“The sexual tension is just ridiculous,” Kevin breathed. “
Just kiss already!”
“And what happens when Dimitri figures out you aren’t intending to sleep with him?” Gary asked.
I shrugged. “By then I assume we’ll be with the Great White, and since it’s the size of a mountain, we’ll probably be running for our lives before I inadvertently punch it in the eye and save the day, since that’s what I seem to do with dragons. Dimitri won’t have time to remember. Don’t worry, I got this!”
They all gaped at me.
“Aaaand break,” I said. “Okay, team. Good talk. Let’s get back out there and do what we came to do.”
And with that, I turned around and slinked back toward where Dimitri and the other fairies waited for us. I rolled my hips and let my hands trail down my chest. “Hello,” I said when I came to stand in front of him again, voice husky and warm. “How lovely it is to see you again.”
“Really?” Dimitri asked suspiciously. “You think it’s nice to see me?”
“Quite,” I said. “Gosh, is it hot out here or is it just me?” I untied the top of my tunic, letting it open against my collarbone. “There. That’s much better.”
Dimitri’s eyes strayed to my chest. He was falling right into my trap. “You said it was just adequate to see me again only moments ago.”
I coughed. “Er. Right. Well. That was before I saw you properly. You’ve done something different with your… penis.”
“Oh,” he said, looking down at the appendage. “I suppose I did. I painted it blue.”
“I can see that,” I said. “It’s looks—”
“Stop staring at it,” Ryan whispered harshly behind me.
“—like you’re a very good painter.”