“No. It pulls and I push and it crawls along my skin, but it never hurts. Not anymore.”
“Where are we going?”
“To their clearing,” and the howl picked up again, but now there was more than one. There were many, and they mingled and rose together, the song hidden within a half step above and below, off-key until it wasn’t. And then it was beautiful.
“Who?” I asked as I itched all over because I felt something.
Instead, he said, “I tried to stop this,” and he was desperate and pleading but they were singing above him and—
come, the song said. hurry come now. here. please. hurry hurry hurry because you are us and we are you.
He said, “I tried to tell them to stay away. To leave you out of this.”
Ox. it’s Ox it’s him and he’s here and he is ours. smell him taste him he is ours and we need because he hears our song.
“But by the time I found out you knew who they were, that they were back in Green Creek, it was already too late.”
“They’re calling me,” I said, and my voice sounded light and airy.
“I know,” Gordo said through gritted teeth. “Ox, you can’t trust them. This.”
“I can,” I said, even though I didn’t know who he meant. “Don’t you hear it?”
Ox Ox Ox Ox. bring him food rabbits fowl deer. show him we can provide because he is PackOursMineBrotherSonLove.
“Yes,” Gordo said. “But not like you can because I’m not pack. Not anymore.”
Pack.
Oh god. Pack.
I started running.
“Ox!” he roared after me.
I ignored him. I had to get closer because my chest felt hot like burning, my skin itching until I thought it would drive me insane. Wind roared in my ears and the cloud left the moon and it was almost as bright as day, and they howled. They sang. The song was alive and vibrant, and it was all I could do to keep from tilting my head back and crying out soul-struck melodies—I hear you I know you I’m coming for you I love you—for all the forest and moon to hear. My heart was a drum and the beat pounded in my chest. I thought I could shatter and the pieces would fall amongst the trees and all that would be left would be little fractals of light from the moon as it reflected off the shards that had been my whole.
OX OX OX OX OX OX
Tree branches slapped my face. My arms. Little flickers of brief pain before the song took over.
HERE HERE HERE HERE
I thought of my father, and he said, “You’re gonna get shit. For most of your life.”
OURS OURS OURS OURS OURS
I thought of my mother, and she laughed, “There’s a soap bubble on your ear.”
HOME HOME HOME
I thought of Gordo, and he whispered, “You belong to us now,” and did I? Did I really?
YES YES YES YES YES
I thought of Joe, and it was in song, in concert with all the howls that were just beyond the tree line and I just had a few more steps and I needed to be there I needed to see what there was to see and I I I I—
I came into the clearing.