He didn’t take his eyes away from me as we lay in that bed. They roamed over my face like he was trying to memorize me all over again. I can’t say I wasn’t doing anything different. I wondered what I’d see if he couldn’t heal like he could. What kind of scars there’d be. What stories they’d tell. I had my fair share. My stomach. My right arm. My back was the worst from when that Omega had gotten me the night Thomas had died. They told my stories. I couldn’t tell Joe’s.
The world moved outside of my room, but we ignored it.
He reached out and ran a finger along my eyebrows. My cheek. My forehead. The tip of my nose. He brushed it against my mouth and I kissed it, the barest press of my lips.
I wanted… more from him. More than I’d wanted from anyone else before. And it would be easy to take, because he’d give me his everything.
I couldn’t do it, though. Not yet. I thought maybe I was on my way to forgiveness, if there was still anything left to forgive, but I wasn’t there yet.
And I still had a pack to think of. A territory to protect.
I didn’t want to speak.
But I had to.
I said, “Joe.”
He said, “Yeah, Ox,” and for a moment my breath caught, because for all the times I’d imagined him finally back with me, here, in my bed, I never really expected it to feel like this.
He must have heard the tripping of my heart, because he pressed a hand against my chest. The angle was awkward, not really enough space for him to press too hard, but I knew what he was doing.
My heartbeat slowed. Calmed.
“I need to know,” I finally said.
He gave a little hum, eyes glinting.
“He’s coming here.”
“Yes.”
“Again.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
His teeth were sharper. “Because that’s what he does. He’s no longer rational. He has lost himself to his wolf. I don’t think he even remembers what it was like to be human. The wolf, it… thinks differently, Ox. It’s still us. We’re still here, but when we change, when we shift, it’s not about rational anymore. It’s about base instinct. Things are more black-and-white. It’s the human side that deals in shades of gray. He’s lost that way of thinking. He gave up his humanity because he blames humans for destroying his family. It doesn’t need to be more complex than that.”
“Why now?”
I felt his claws prick my chest through my shirt, but his eyes never left mine. “Because he knew it would bring me back here. He needed time to recover. To heal. To put himself back together. He changed course, but the endgame is the same. He made sure to send us that message with the Kings. Killing David was the last sign. Everything pointed back to Green Creek.”
“He’s circling.”
Joe smiled bitterly. “More like ensnaring. By pointing threats in your direction, he knew I’d have no choice but to come home.”
“You always have a choice.”
His smile softened. “Not when it comes to you.”
I couldn’t take much more of this. My skin was buzzing and I felt the need to touch and mark and bite, but I had to finish this first. I had to make sure.
“What do we do?”
He sighed. “What we have to. I’m tired of running, Ox. I’m tired of chasing shadows. All I want is to dig my feet into this earth because it once belonged to my father. And I know he meant it for me too. This was his home. It’s yours now, and I’m okay with that. I’m okay with you and this. What you are. But I want it to be mine too. I want it to be ours. If you’ll let us. If you’ll have me.”
Doubts, then. “I’m not—”