I said, “I don’t get a power boner, what the hell,” even though it sounded like something I would get rather easily.
Ryan brought a closed fist to his chest and bowed low toward the King. “If the King wishes, I can provide a situation report immediately.”
“Oh my gods,” I said to Gary. “I get a boner for power.”
“Do you think he knows he’s not really whispering that?” Mom asked Dad. “Because it seems like he thinks he’s whispering.”
“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know he does a lot of things he probably shouldn’t,” Dad said. “We’re not to blame for that at all. We’re wonderful parents.”
“Hi, Sam,” the King said, smiling broadly.
I waved. “Hey. Don’t mind me. I’m just standing over here with my uncomfortable realizations about certain kinks I have.”
“Sam a kinky bitch,” Tiggy said.
“Too right,” I said. “It’s moments like these that I try and—”
“Sam,” Ryan said in that tone of voice he got sometimes.
“Uh-oh,” I said to Gary. “He’s getting growly.”
“And his eyebrows are doing that thing,” Gary said.
“Well maybe if you would stop talking—”
“Me? I’m not the one here sporting half a chub because—”
“This is the future of the kingdom,” Justin said to the King. “This is seriously what you want to leave me with. I will go down in the annals of history and these people will be my legacy.”
“Heh,” Gary said. “He wants to go down in annals. Gross.”
“Don’t get it,” Tiggy said.
“That’s because my humor is sophisticated,” Gary said with a haughty sniff. “It plays to a higher crowd.”
“I think you’re doing a good job,” I whisper-shouted to Ryan, giving him a thumbs-up. “You give the best status reports out of anyone I’ve ever met.”
“You mean I’m trying to give a status report,” Ryan said. “But someone keeps interrupting me.”
“Rude,” I said to Gary. “Try to give a man a compliment after he gives you a probable black eye, and this is the thanks I get.”
“That’s what happens in all long-term relationships,” Gary said. “Face it, kitten. The magic is gone because you’ve let yourself go.”
“I did what now?” I said, wondering if the courts would believe my defense of justifiable homicide toward a magical creature.
He smiled sticky sweet. “Love you.”
Tiggy bent over until we were face to face, his nose nearly touching mine. “You look nice,” he decided after a moment.
“Thank you, Tiggy.”
“Maybe tired in your face.”
“You know nothing, you tall freak of nature!”
He patted me on the head with a big hand.
“You’re very lucky,” the King told Justin, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder. “Most people would kill to have this support behind them.”