A Destiny of Dragons (Tales From Verania 2)

“Sam,” Tiggy said, and I didn’t know that I’d ever heard my name said with more disappointment in my life. I actually felt guilty for something that hadn’t even happened.

“Okay, one, I’m not married…”

“Oh, so now we have excuses, ladies and gentlemen! Next you’re going to tell me that you didn’t even do anything wrong!”

“…and two, I wasn’t even doing anything wro—godsdammit.”

“Uh-huh,” Gary said, arching both his fake eyebrows at the same time, looking like he was surprised, but also like he was plotting to take over the world. “Spoken like a true adulteress. For shame, Sam. You have Knight McBottoms Like a Champ waiting for you, but after one lovers’ spat, you find solace in the arms of an exotic stranger while on holiday in a strange land. It’s so sordid, I’m almost impressed. Hell, I am impressed.”

“No.” Tiggy frowned deeper.

“Sweet molasses,” I said weakly. “Okay, look. All Ruv was trying to show me—”

“Oh, it’s Ruv now, is it?”

“Yes, Gary. That’s his name.”

“Oh. Right. Continue on.”

“He was trying to show me where Mom grew up. That’s it.”

“Really,” Gary said dubiously. “Then why did Vadoma tell us that you were indisposed at the moment because you were having some alone time with Ruv?”

“She what,” I said flatly.

“She said you doin’ stuff,” Tiggy said, uncrossing his arms and cracking his knuckles, all while glaring murderously at Ruv.

“Exactly,” Gary said. “Stuff. Why, if Kevin hadn’t been there to hold Ryan back, I’m positive Ruv’s head would be lopped off by now. You’re lucky my ex-husband is so thoughtful. And muscular. Gods, he’s so muscular, the way he was able to hold back Knight Delicious Face as if he were nothing. Mmm. Did I ever tell you about the time Kevin put his—”

“Yes, Gary.”

“Are you sure? It was when he ate my—”

“Yes, Gary.”

“Ah, well. No matter. The past is the past, and the love we shared has flickered out like a candle in the wind. Apparently like your love, given that you’re here all slutty-cozy with a man whose penis you are not familiar with… at least not yet.”

“Did you know about this?” I asked Ruv.

He shrugged. “I cannot control what the phuro says. She does have a mind of her own, you know.”

“Not after I’m done with her,” I muttered. “Gary, you go back and tell the others there is nothing going on. Tiggy, you can stay with us.”

“Right,” Gary said. “Because I only saw you rubbing your shoulder with his shoulder, which everyone knows in a romantic comedy is a sign of affection that leads toward a dick being shoved down someone’s throat.”

“Oh my fucking gods,” I said, gaping at him. “What the hell have you been reading? You know what? I don’t even want to know. Obviously it’s something that has no literary merit whatsoever and should be burned. Tiggy, you go back and tell Ryan that I’m just seeing my mom’s old home. Gary, you stay here so I can keep your freaking mouth shut.”

Tiggy brought two fingers to his eyes, then pointed them at Ruv. “I see you, tiny human.”

“Eep,” Ruv said, but managed to cover it up well enough.

“Don’t you worry, kitten,” Gary said. “I won’t let our Sam here be swayed by gypsy dick. Not even if I have to throw myself on it and sacrifice my butthole so that Sam remains faithful.”

“I wish I could tell you they’re not normally like this,” I said to Ruv. “But that would be a lie.”

He laughed. “They care about you very much.”

“Too much. Way, way too much.”