“House, then back,” Tiggy said to me. “Or I come after you.”
“I’m not going to—”
“You don’t want that.”
“No, sir,” I said quickly. “Sorry, sir. Yes, sir.”
Tiggy waited a beat more before grunting. He reached up and ran a hand down Gary’s mane. “Pretty Gary,” he murmured. Then he glared at Ruv before whirling on his heels and walking back toward the market.
“I do love that half-giant,” Gary said fondly, watching Tiggy go. Once Tiggy had disappeared, Gary turned his head slowly, right eyebrow cocked so high that I thought he was going to strain some muscles in his face. “Now. Where were we?” He obnoxiously pushed his way between Ruv and me, almost knocking me on my ass but not appearing apologetic in the slightest. “There,” he said. “That’s better. Don’t you think? After all, Ruv, I would hate to see what you would look like with a sword through your chest. Or maybe I wouldn’t. I haven’t decided yet.”
“Are your friends always this violent?” Ruv asked me.
I didn’t even have to think about it. “Always. So are my mom and dad. And the King. And the Prince. And Randall and Morgan.”
“We tend to maim when Sam is involved,” Gary agreed. “Hop to it. I’d like to get back before sunset, as there is a feast being thrown in my honor.”
“
I don’t actually think it’s in your honor—”
“You really want to go there right now, Sam? Because we can go there right now if you want.”
I didn’t want to go there.
IT WASN’T much. The house where my mother had lived. Not like where Vadoma lived now. It was set off a narrow walkway, the planks beneath our feet a bit more rickety than those on the main thoroughfares. But it was late afternoon, and the sun was in the west, and the light fell in a perfect line between the buildings until it hit a bed of flowers, colored in reds and greens and oranges and golds. And even though she hadn’t been here for over two decades, I knew this was where she’d come from. This was her touch. It felt almost sacred.
“They were hers,” Ruv said beside me in a quiet voice. “Or so Vadoma says. Her flowers. She loved them, apparently.”
“She loves them still.”
“Does she? That’s… well. I know you don’t trust me. And I know you don’t trust Vadoma. And that’s your right. But before Vadoma was the phuro, she was a mother. And she loved her daughter. Her hands were tied by tradition far older than she could ever be. Older than you or I will ever live. She had to uphold that tradition.”
“She didn’t, though.” I looked at the small house with the faded siding. It wasn’t ostentatious. It looked like a home, nicer than anything we’d had in the slums. And she’d given that up for my father. “She didn’t have to force my mother away.”
“She comes here,” Ruv said. “And tends to the flowers. Every week, she is on her hands and knees caring for them. I asked her once why she had let her own flowers die after her daughter left, but not these. Why she wanted the reminder in front of her face, so brightly colored, of how she banished her own daughter.”
“What did she say?”
“She said it was where she felt closest to her. That even though she was gone, even though she was far away, there was still a piece of her here. And she was going to hold on to that piece with all her might.”
“Is that supposed to make things better?” Gary asked.
Ruv shrugged. “No. I don’t think it is. But regardless of what else she may be, regardless of what secrets she has kept, she is a mother too. That’s not something that will change. And I think, in the end, we all hold on to whatever we can, even if it’s just a memory.”
I watched the sunlight on the flowers for a long time.
WE WERE nearly back at Vadoma’s when I stopped Ruv with a hand on his shoulder. “Gary, can you give us a minute?”
Gary’s nostrils flared. “You gonna suck his balls?”
I sighed. “No, Gary. I’m not going to suck his balls.”
“Are you going to suck his—”
“Oh my gods, Gary, I’m not going to suck his anything.”
“Just making sure. You have one minute. If you’re not done in that minute, I will describe in excruciating detail that one time my hoof got stuck in Kevin’s asshole. You understand me?”