“Hey,” Gary snapped at them, looking away from Ryan, who sighed in relief that the unicorn’s ire had been focused on someone else. “Sam is pretty good sometimes at what he does occasionally!”
Pretty good sometimes, I mouthed to no one in particular.
“Yeah,” Tiggy said. “Sam so cool. I love him and he my friend and Tiggy smash if you hurt him.”
“And,” Kevin said, “in case you hadn’t noticed, I can actually talk when he’s around. Before, everything was all rawr snort grr. And if he goes too far away, it happens again. Also? I happen to be a motherfucking dragon. You know? From the motherfucking prophecy? And maybe Sam didn’t gather me intentionally, but you can bet that I’ll follow him anywhere.” He looked down at me and winked. “And I mean anywhere.”
“Gross,” I said. “And thank you.”
“Kevin’s right,” Ryan growled. “He’s the motherfucking dragon from the motherfu—”
“Ahem,” I coughed.
“Oh, come on,” he said, looking pained. “You can’t make me do that in front of everyone.”
“Ryan.”
“Sam.”
“Are you, or are you not, a Knight of Verania.”
He scuffed his foot against the wood. “I am.”
“And are there, or are there not, impressionable young children here who might one day want to grow up to be just like their hero Knight Commander Ryan Foxheart?”
He sighed. “There are.”
“Then watch your motherfucking language, okay?”
“Gods.”
“You may continue your defense of me. It was very sweet. I love you.”
“Whatever.”
“Anytime now.”
“Well maybe I don’t want to do it now.”
I leaned over, cupping my hand over his ear. “I’ll rim you until you cry if you do.”
He shuddered as he bit his bottom lip. “Yeah?”
“Fuck yeah.”
&n
bsp; “He’s a mothercracking dragon,” Ryan snapped. “From the mothercracking prophecy. And I’m the Knight Commander to the Castle Guard and here on order of the King, who I speak for. So when I say Sam’s the right person, yes, he’s the right godsdarn person.” He folded his arms across his chest and glared, as if daring anyone to contradict him.
I wanted to mount him in front of everyone.
But that needed to wait.
I had a job to do.
I took a step forward.
The crowd around me took a step back.