“You got a plan?”
“For?”
He rolled his eyes. “The whole dragon thing.”
“Ah. That. Sure I’ve got a plan.”
“Good,” he said, sounding relieved. “You had me worried there for a little bit.”
“My plan is to wing it.”
Ryan sighed. “Godsdammit.”
“Watch your mouth, Knight Commander.”
“Or what?”
“Or I’ll have to spank it with my dick.”
He tripped and almost fell. It was glorious.
I laughed at him. He blushed and muttered vague threats in my direction.
We walked on.
Kevin and Ruv were ahead of us, the dragon’s tail dragging behind him and leaving long grooves for us to walk on. Ruv had a small wooden board attached to the pack on his back with black hinges on the top and bottom. There was a thick cloth folded against the sides. I hadn’t asked what it was for, but I was curious about it. I didn’t know if it was some kind of weapon we could use against the desert dragon or some form of protection from whatever the hell sand mermaids were.
I probably should drill him for information while I had the chance.
“Keep an eye on the idiots,” I muttered to Ryan. “I gotta go talk to Ruv.”
“You act like they’ll wander off if we look away,” Ryan said, squinting against the sun. “Wait. As soon as I said it, I realized they would wander off if we looked away. Got it. Oh, and one more thing.” He grabbed me by the back of the neck and pulled me in, kissing me, hard and filthy. His tongue was against mine, and I felt his teeth scrape on my lips. He rolled his hips once, twice, and then pushed me away. I blinked slowly at him. He grinned that smug grin that I hated and adored. “That’s better.”
“Guh,” I said.
“Exactly. Go get ’em, champ.” He smacked my ass hard and then turned toward Gary and Tiggy. “Gary! I am going to explain this game to you one more time….”
Have you ever tried to walk through a desert with half a hard-on in your pants?
It sucks.
“Stupid sexy knights,” I muttered as I hurried to catch up with Kevin and Ruv, adjusting myself in the process. “With their stupid sexy everything.”
“Who’s sexy now?” Kevin asked, looking back at me, eyes narrowing as he saw me randomly groping myself. “Are you checking me out again, Sam? From the back, even. See something you like, sailor? Do you want to dock your ship into my port?”
“Whyyyy,” I moaned, trying to get that image out of my head. “Do you have to do that?”
“Yes,” Kevin said. “Obviously.”
“Whatever. I need to have a chat with our good friend Ruv here.”
“Do I need to make myself scarce?” Kevin asked, but he sounded like that was the last thing he wanted to do. It was good to know he didn’t trust Ruv either.
“Actually, I think you should stay. Because this probably concerns you too.”
“Ah,” Kevin said. “The whole thing where I’m the chosen one and will save the world and be given much treasure as a thank-you. Got it.”
I sighed. “Sure. Why not.”