I shook my head furiously. “No. You didn’t. Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me?”
“Yes.”
“Do you love me?”
And he said, “Yes.”
Because I have never seen a wolf love another as much as he loved you.
I am here as your Alpha. And I have received a formal request from one of my Betas.
I thought of a boy with eyes of ice telling me that he loved me, that he didn’t want to leave again, but he had to, he had to, his Alpha was demanding it, and he would come back for me, Gordo, you have to believe I’ll come back for you. You are my mate, I love you, I love you, I love you.
I leaned close and whispered words in his ear. Words I once said to him when he stood outside my door and my heart was breaking. “You can have me. Right now. Here. Choose me. Mark. Choose me. Stay here. Or don’t. We can go anywhere you want. We can leave right now. You and me. Fuck everything else. No packs, no Alphas. No wolves. Just… us.”
He pulled his head back.
His eyes were the brightest orange I’d ever seen.
“You want this?” he whispered. “With me?”
“Yes. I do.”
“But—”
“Maybe it’ll stop it. Maybe it’ll slow it down.”
The orange faded slightly. “If you’re only doing this because of—”
I kissed him. “No,” I mumbled against his lips. “Not because of that. Not just because of that. Because of everything else.”
“There’s no going back. After this.”
“I know.”
“And it might not wo
rk. Gordo, it might not do anything at all.”
“I know that too.”
“And you would still? For me?”
“Yes. Yes. Always for you.”
It was blue. Of course it was. The ocean always was. It was vast and filled so deeply with melancholy that I thought I would choke on it.
But through the ocean, through the violet fire that burned on top of it, the green grew again.
He kissed me reverently, his grip softening, as if he never thought he would hear such words from me. It was soft and sweet, and I ached from the very thought of it.
I reached down between us, fumbling with the buttons to his pants as my skin flushed. I’d thought of this before. In those late nights when I couldn’t sleep, though I’d never admit it to myself the next morning. I wondered how he’d feel pressed against me, how the muscles in his arms and chest would feel under my tongue. I’d thought it weak and foolish, angry with myself how much it hurt.
But this was real now. I could smell him. Taste him. Touch him. He turned and carried me to the bed, setting me down gently before he crawled on top of me, letting his considerable weight push me down into the mattress. I was engulfed by him, and everything was Mark and Mark and Mark, and there was an answering song in my head, a howl coming from deep within him. It rocked me to my core, the sheer joy of it causing my hands to shake as I wrapped them around his neck, urging him on.