There was little doubt that Minderbinders and Maxons had that night boosted the Port Authority Bus Terminal into the forefront of great catering halls for the close of the century and the dawning of the new one. Everyone leaving was given a colorful brochure published jointly by PABT and the Metropolitan Museum of Art, with which PABT now had so many interests in common. For as little as $36,000, anyone in the world could engage space for a party in either place.
It was anticipated that most guests would depart at 1:00 A.M. They did, and the million, one hundred and twenty-two thousand champagne tulips there as s
ouvenirs and door prizes were quickly depleted. A younger, livelier bunch stayed on to bowl, eat, and dance madly to the recorded music provided by an all-night disc jockey on the floors above. Eventually, those who still could not tear themselves away went to sleep on sturdy clean cabana lounges moved into the ticketing areas or bedded down in one of the emergency stairwells, where new, unused mattresses had been laid out on the landings and stairs. When they awoke, there was fresh orange juice for them at the juice bars and pancake-and-egg breakfasts in the coffee shops. The stairwells had been emptied and scoured thoroughly; instead of disinfectant, the odors in the air were of aftershave lotion and designer perfumes. For the stairwells, a one-legged woman with a crutch was hired to go wandering about mumbling she'd been raped, but she was a minor actress with a pretty face that had modeled cosmetics, and a shapely leg that had modeled panty hose. A large, gracious, maternal black woman with moles that looked cancerous and a rich contralto voice hummed spirituals.
By 4:30 in the morning, the twenty-eight Cosa Nostra carting companies subcontracting through the Washington Cosa Loro with the Commercial Catering division of M & M E & A had removed the rest of the trash, and by 6:00 A.M., when the first of the customary bus travelers appeared, all was back to normal, except for the absence of the hustlers and the homeless, who would remain in forced exile until all was secure.
"That was sly of you," Gaffney said, in praise of Yossarian's little speech.
"I can't believe I said that," Yossarian repented.
"You haven't, yet. Well?" added Gaffney with a wish to know, as they watched on the monitor the crowds in the terminal that had not yet gathered there thinning out sort of wanly and drifting back in pale reflections to the places from which they had not yet come. "Mrs. Maxon seemed satisfied."
"Then her husband will be too. I love all that Wagner music. And I also have to laugh. Do you think the end of Gotterdammerung is a tactful choice for that occasion?"
"Yes. Would you prefer a requiem?" Gaffney's dark eyes twinkled.
"It's turning black again, that God-damned sun," said Hacker lightly, and laughed. "I can't seem to get it out."
"It can't turn black," snapped Yossarian, annoyed by him once more. "If the sun turned black, the sky would be black too, and you wouldn't be able to see it."
"Yeah?" The young man sniggered. "Take a look."
Yossarian took a look and saw that on the central screens, the sun indeed was black in a sky that was blue, the moon had turned red again, and all of the ships in the harbor and the neighboring waters, the tugs, barges, tankers, freighters, commercial fishing vessels, and different varieties of pleasure craft, were again upside down.
"It's a glitch," said Hacker. "We call it a glitch. I'll have to keep working on it."
"I saw another glitch," said Yossarian.
"You mean the President?"
"He never showed up, did he? I didn't see him."
"We can't get him to come out of his office. Here--look." Yossarian recognized the antechamber of the Oval Office in Washington. "He's supposed to walk out, be driven to the MASSPOB building, and take the new supertrain here. Instead, he keeps going off the other way. He walks into his playroom."
"You'll have to reprogram your model."
Hacker snickered again in affected despair and left the answer to Gaffney.
"We can't reprogram the model, Yo-Yo. It's the model. You'll have to reprogram the presidency."
"Me?"
"In fact, he's in there right now," said Hacker. "What the hell's he got in that playroom anyway?"
"Ask Yossarian," said Gaffney. "He's been there."
"He has a video game," said Yossarian. "It's called Triage."
BOOK
TWELVE
33
Entr'acte
Milo lost interest quickly, flew off on business, and was out of the terminal when the alarm went off, not safely underneath it with Yossarian.