Loving Lily (Fair Cyprians of London 6)

“Don’t you want to be with me? Don’t you want the security I can offer you? A return to those wonderful days of endless loving?” He touched his heart. “I’ve relived those days every single moment of my life. I care nothing for society and my standing. Besides, I have a calling that would enable me to practise good anywhere in the world. With you by my side, think of the good we could do in Africa? In India? You’d be my wife in all but name only.”

“But if Robert were to find out—”

“He’d be the last to call attention to the lie. Not when he has so much at stake.” He gripped her hands. “Please, Lily. Tell m

e that I have not come here to woo you once again…in vain.”

Lily rose and began to pace in front of the fire. He truly was offering her the salvation she needed. Without an offer like this, what hope had she for anything other than life as one of Madame Chambon’s girls? Or in an asylum, helped there through Hamish’s well-meant efforts?

And Hamish?

She stifled a sob. He was shocked and horrified by the truth.

But Teddy knew everything about her. And he’d come looking for her. She couldn’t knock back this opportunity.

Haltingly, she said, “No, you’ve not come here in vain. I’m just in shock, that’s all.” She forced a smile. “I’ve just returned from a very strange evening trying to summon information regarding a man who may well have been murdered. My thoughts are all a jumble, and my nerves as disordered as they ever were when you saw me last, Teddy.” Closing the distance between them, she stroked his cheek. “The next time you come to me, Teddy, I shall be very much decided.”

He rose with obvious reluctance. “You will?”

“I’m sure of it,” she said.

Hoping against hope that the truth was as firm as the conviction with which she’d uttered the words.

Chapter 23

“Why so glum, Hamish?” Lucy sent him a concerned look across the breakfast table. “Until a few days ago, I thought I’d got my old, carefree brother back again. Are you missing Mrs Eustace? Maybe you should go and see her again.”

He ignored her blatant dig for information, saying instead, “I have to see Father today, in case you’d forgotten.”

“Oh, goodness. Do, please, keep me out of the conversation.” Lucy pressed her lips together, her expression worried. “And don’t say anything about my unsuitable suitor.”

“If Mr Myers is worth his salt, he will be patient and win your hand by proving to me that he is worthy of you.” Hamish sent her a reassuring smile. “But, of course I’ll say nothing. I have only your best interests at heart.”

“Just as I have only yours at heart.” She took another sip of tea. “That’s why I think you and I should go and see Mrs Eustace perform at Lord Lambton’s séance tonight.”

“I hardly think Father would approve of that, Lucy.” Though it was not their father Hamish was worried about. It was his own susceptibility. Lily Eustac—eor, rather, Lady Bradden—was the antithesis of the kind of woman he needed in his life. Yet, the moment she was within his orbit, it was his heart that ruled his head.

Glancing down, she stirred her tea thoughtfully. “You took on your responsibilities with the business far more seriously than I expected you would, Hamish. I never thought you would agree to take up the reins where he left off. I thought you were going to go off in your own direction after you came home from France, and you agreed to take up the editorship. You seemed so…” She sought for the right words. “Well, so full of wonderful and exciting ideas that really were so different from Father’s.”

Hamish found it hard to meet her eye. She wanted to quiz him about his relationship with their father and how it might affect her. He knew Lucy lived in terror of being returned to her overbearing parents. Meanwhile, Hamish could barely keep his mind off his disappointment over his recent brutal discovery.

Everything stood in the way of any kind of relationship between him and Lily.

Lady Bradden. Even the social divide.

He should, of course, just bow out gracefully and leave her to her fate. He was surely not in so deep that a graceful retreat would not be excusable?

“Father said he’d pay a visit to the office.” She pretended unconcern as she buttered her toast. “Are you worried?”

Would he be honest with her? She was so much younger than he. Barely twenty, and yet, despite her liveliness, so full of intelligence and perception.

“Father doesn’t control my every decision, Lucy. I’m not so under his thumb,” he said softly.

“I think you are, more than you like to admit it,” she countered. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to only have to see him once a quarter in order to make a full accounting of my sins, but he makes it very clear that he is the one who cracks the whip, and that one whisper of wrongdoing would see me marched down the aisle with the first suitable offer.” She looked up at Hamish, puzzled. “How does Father have so much influence when he’s been mostly bedridden all these years and has so few good days?” She dropped her eyes. “It’s as if his ghost is always there, hovering over us.”

Hamish reached across to put his hand over hers. “Appearances are deceptive, Lucy. Father is not as hard a man as you believe. I don’t expect you to understand.” In truth, Hamish was only spouting platitudes. Their father was a hard man. But he couldn’t keep his mind off his own emotional turmoil.

“Good lord, you’ve never sounded so condescending, Hamish!” Lucy cried. “As if I didn’t understand that nothing is as it seems, and that there’s something between you and Father that I’ll probably never know. And since you won’t tell me, I’ll naturally suspect the worst—that you’ve done something terrible that gives Father a hold over you, and makes you financially beholden to him.” She focused troubled eyes upon him. “It all started when you came back from France. You were so happy when you left, ready to explore the world.” She paused, significantly, before adding, “Now that you were free of Father, and free to go your own way. And, what’s more, that he had willingly released you. Your letters home made me wonder if you would ever return, you were so filled with life and energy.”