What else could she say to reassure the girl? Grace had lost her trust.
And what would Hamish think? The woman he’d professed to love such a short time before had turned into a mad creature and tried to kill him.
With another sob, she turned to look out of the window. What future was there for her? For Hamish who said he loved her? How could she ruin his life?
Robert was coming back to claim her. She was his responsibility in the eyes of the law. He obviously found her an inconvenience, but he always did know what would benefit him. And ‘dealing’ with Lily would be his first priority once he reached London.
Hearing the clock chime the hour, she threw back the bedclothes and slid to the floor.
“Wot are yer doin’, ma’am! Yer need ter rest!” Grace exclaimed, hurrying forward to take Grace’s arm, then dropping her hand, as if she were afraid.
How could Grace blame her?
“I have a performance tonight.” Lily avoided her maid and began to rummage through her wardrobe.
“Yer ain’t well ’nuff, ma’am,” Grace protested, but Lily ignored her.
“Mrs Renquist is waiting for me. She believes there will be answers forthcoming tonight. Yes, my green dress will do. Help me with the buttons, Grace? Grrr, I’ll do them myself. Oh, Teddy!”
There he was in the doorway, a buffer blocking her as she prepared to step out into the passage, for she couldn’t stay a moment longer in this torment. Robert might arrive at any moment.
And, no, she was not going to simply succumb to his directives and his tyranny once more. She was stronger than she had been ten minutes ago.
A pang of despair at the thought of Hamish assailed her, but she thrust it away. If anything proved her love, it would be this.
She would not inflict herself and her torments upon him and blight his life.
“My dear girl, you’re not crying, are you?” Leading her back to the bed, Teddy took her hand in one of his, stroking her cheek with his other. “Come, now, my sweet thing, everything is going to be all right. You’ll see. Come back to bed and rest some more, and I’ll stay and comfort you. You look like you need some bolstering.”
Lily stared rather stupidly at the teardrop that had splashed onto the front of her dress, staining the green fabric. She really should put a stop to these useless tears. She’d made her decision and, after Hamish had witnessed her in the very grip of an episode, he’d be only too thankful to be spared a lifetime of it.
She shouldn’t feel sorrow.
But Teddy knew exactly the risks she posed. He’d come to London to claim her, despite that.
And having someone…anyone…offer comfort was a rare treat. She rested her head against his hand and closed her eyes. If she could just let her body float into oblivion. Her mind, too. But know that sometime in the future, she could open her eyes knowing everything would be all right again.
Perhaps she did drift off to sleep, for she was awoken by a tug and Teddy whispering, “Would you like that, Lily? Did you hear what I said?”
Shaking herself, she realised she was tucked up in bed again, and Teddy was sitting at her side. Close up, the years had taken their toll. He’d had such a pale, unlined skin, and such blue, blue eyes, but now there were little red veins about his nose. From a distance, he was still the same young Teddy, but up close he had a slightly dissipated look about him.
How must she appear to him? At twenty-six, she was nearly past her bloom.
Two years in a lunatic asylum had done her no favours. She’d e
njoyed a brief resurgence of her former glory when she’d been renourished at Madame Chambon’s, but now she knew the lines about her mouth and eyes would only get deeper. And quickly.
Madame Chambon.
Yes, that’s where Mr Montpelier and Mrs Moore intended to despatch her unless someone else stepped in.
Yesterday, Hamish was going to take on that role and champion her.
She must have whimpered, for Teddy tightened his arm about her shoulders and said softly, “Yes, I will look after you, Lily. I can’t bear to see you like this. Frightened. Defenceless.” Tenderly, he traced the bridge of her nose before kissing its tip. “But I know how to keep you as well as you can be. It can be like the old days. Just you and me.” He touched his lips to her brow, still murmuring. “Tell me that you’ll let me help you. I’ll find you a lovely cottage in the country where you can be quiet and undisturbed. A cottage that only you and I will know about. It’ll be our secret, and I’ll protect you from the big bad world. And from Robert who wants to send you back to the maison. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? It would be so much better than here.”
So much better than here.
Oh, yes…