Ten Ways to Ruin
Page 55
“Ainsley wasn’t the one who told me,” Louisa muttered before sitting across from her. “What happened in the library?”
“Nothing much. I spoke with Ainsley for a moment, and then Kingsley entered the room. Since you have repeatedly told me to keep away from him, I told him I had a headache and left.”
Louisa nodded. “And anyone else might believe that story.”
Her sister had always been able to determine Emma’s feelings far better than even their mother. The idea of telling what transpired caused her hands to shake. She couldn’t remember being so overwrought from one encounter. Not even Bolton’s rejection had made left her so distraught. Emma pressed her lips together to keep the tears at bay and finally whispered, “He kissed me, Louisa.”
“Ainsley?”
Emma shook her head, unable to say the damning words. “I’m sorry,” she finally whispered.
“Why are you sorry? What happened?”
Emma rose and started pacing the room again. “I never wanted this. I never wanted to be attracted to him. I never wanted to feel as if the world had slipped away when his lips touched him. God, how could I be attracted to that devil?”
“Simon?” Louisa let out a long breath before adding, “You desire Simon?”
“Yes!”
“I thought you despised him?”
“I do! It’s the most dreadful, horrible, exciting thing that has ever happened to me. What am I supposed to do, Louisa?”
“Did it feel as if there was no one else in the world at that moment? As if your heart were about to beat out of your chest?”
“Yes!”
“Damn,” Louisa muttered before rising and pacing the opposite direction. “I told you not to let him get close to you.”
“I know that,” Emma cried. “I have to leave. Return to London, and everything will be fine. He cannot affect me in town because we will not see each other.”
Louisa paced the room for a minute, muttering to herself. Finally, she stopped in front of Emma and took hold of her shoulders. “You’re right. Tomorrow morning we’ll make up some excuse, and I’ll have a carriage return you home.”
“Thank you.”
Louisa released the hold on Emma’s shoulders before whispering, “Was it really that good?”
Emma pressed her lips together and nodded. “He’s a rake. He knows how to kiss a woman senseless.”
“Oh my, I think it runs in his family,” Louisa mumbled.
“Harry too?”
“Every time he kisses me.” Louisa pressed her lips together before asking, “You are not in love with him, are you?”
“No!” Of that, she was certain. “Why?”
“It would change everything. No matter then. Pack your clothing tonight, so you are ready to leave in the morning.”
Emma nodded quickly. “Yes.”
“Good night,” Louisa said as she opened the door.
Once Louisa left, Emma took her sister’s advice and packed her clothing so she could depart at first light. She sat back on the bed and thought about her reaction to Kingsley’s kiss. Since this was her first kiss, Emma had no idea if she might have that same reaction with any man. Perhaps she would respond the same with any man. She tapped a finger against her lip in thought.
There was only one way to find out.
Listening to the footsteps coming up the stairs, she was finally confident everyone had retired for the night. Wrapped in her linen night rail and flannel dressing gown, she crept down the stairs to the library to wait for Ainsley.