“Simon,” he whispered near her ear. “I think after the other night, it would come naturally to you.”
Her cheeks reddened. “It’s not appropriate, Mr. Kingsley.”
“Neither is sitting in my gaming hell alone when you should be at Almack’s tonight.”
She laughed softly with a hint of scorn. “I was at Almack’s until Countess Lieven me informed that ladies who go to gaming hells wearing trousers are not acceptable clientele for Almack’s. Now since there were only five of us who knew I had done such a thing, I do wonder how she learned of it. Neither Louisa nor Harry would have spoken to anyone about what happened.”
“You can hardly think it was me.”
She looked over at him with one brow raised in question. “Can’t I?”
“Come up to my office where we can discuss this in private.” He assumed she would back down after their kiss the other night, but she jumped off the stool and was halfway across the room before she paused and glanced back expectedly at him. Simon moved from his seat to follow her.
Once in his office, she turned to him with anger marring her beautiful face. “Who else would speak to someone of what I did? Susan is my dearest friend and had no wish to go along with any of my plans.”
Plans? Had her ideas included pilfering silver from Lady Huntley and introducing herself to Simpson? And obtaining her first kiss? “I can guarantee you that I spoke to no one save your sister and my brother about you coming to Hell dressed as a man.”
Her face crumpled as she sank into a chair. “It could not have been Susan,” she muttered more to herself than to him. “She would never betray me no matter how much she thought my list was foolish.”
List?
She had a bloody list!
“When you said you could scratch off numbers two and three, there actually was a list of things you were planning to do?” he spoke with marked restraint.
She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together before giving him a slight nod. “Yes,” she replied with a sigh. “And getting tossed out of Almack’s was on it. But I wanted the satisfaction of doing something there. Not much, maybe an insult to a patroness.”
Since they had both left their drinks in the gaming room, he poured two glasses and handed her one. “Why would you do such a thing, Emma?”
“Do you have any idea what it is like to have a reputation that you did nothing to deserve?” she whispered before opening her eyes and staring at him.
He sat in the chair opposite her and then sipped his drink. He knew exactly how she felt. But should he tell her that? Would it matter if she knew his secret? “I do understand how you feel, Emma.”
“How could you possibly? For the past four years, I always did the right thing, the moral thing. I even engaged myself to a man because everyone told me he was the perfect husband for me. All to be ruined by my sisters’ actions.”
“No sane man believes you are to blame for the actions of your sisters,” he noted.
“Of course they do. Reputation is everything in Society, so do not tell me how I’m wrong to want to live up to mine. For once, I wanted to be the one who did something instead of being blamed for something I didn’t do.”
“But Emma, everyone knows it was your sisters, not you. You have no idea what it’s like when the sordid name is truly your own.”
“Well, you would understand that,” she said scornfully.
“I’m hardly the man people think I am,” he started slowly. “At least half of what is rumored about me is completely untrue.”
She looked incredulous. “You shot a man in a duel. That it is hardly the work of a gentleman.”
“Unless another man lied to protect a supposed friend.”
“What do you mean?”
“I came upon Winston and Parker at Hampstead Heath. God, they were foolish young men. They hadn’t even brought a surgeon with them. Once Parker shot Winston, their seconds ran off. I’d assumed to fetch the surgeon. Parker was stunned and had no idea what to do. I tried to stop the bleeding with my waist jacket, assuming the surgeon would arrive soon. After thirty minutes, I convinced him to bring Winston to a surgeon.”
Simon closed his eyes as he spoke. “I just hadn’t expected Parker to blame me for the shot.”
“I cannot believe Mr. Parker would do such a thing. And if what you say is true, why didn’t you deny it?”
He stared down into the amber liquid in his glass with a wry smile. “Because once Parker lied, business increased. When Winston died, business boomed. Suddenly all the ton wanted entrance into Hell. Everyone wanted to see the man who bested Winston and maybe ev