“Are you all right?”
Elizabeth turned to see Will standing in the room, staring at her as if she had gone mad. “No, I am not all right,” she admitted.
He drew her into his arms and held her. It was as though he knew no words would comfort her now. But being in his arms helped her immensely. If only she could stay here forever.
Slowly, she pulled away so no servant would see them. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“I searched the music room, but to no avail,” Will said.
Elizabeth nodded. “Why don’t you try the salon? Maybe there is a panel I missed.”
“Very well.” Will turned and left her alone to her searching again.
At nine, Will told the children to go to bed. She sat in his study staring at the cold fireplace. A lone tear fell down her cheek.
“We will find it, Elizabeth.” Will sat across from her but reached over to hold her hand.
“I’m not certain it is even here,” she said with a shrug. “Maybe I missed something at the estates. Maybe there never was another diary. She probably burned it so my father would not discover it.”
“Is there anyone who might have been your mother’s confidante?”
“She was friends with most of the ladies of the ton. But I do not remember any special friend. I suppose I could try the dowager Lady Selby. They were close in age so maybe she will know more.”
Elizabeth tried not to let the tentacles of defeat wrap around her, but she failed. She highly doubted Lady Selby was her mother’s closest friend. The only time she remembered Lady Selby visiting was when Elizabeth and Jennette were playing together.
Will squeezed her hand. “We will find it.”
“What if we don’t? I know you are trying to remain positive but there is a very good chance we will never find the diary.”
“I don’t know what we will do then,” he said with a frustrated sigh. “Pretend this never happened and pray you are not with child?”
She knew from his angry tone he didn’t mean what he’d said, still the words stung. How could she pretend she wasn’t in love with him? It was an impossible situation.
“Perhaps we should ask Somerton for help,” he said.
“Absolutely not.” Elizabeth drew her hand away. “I will not allow him to know our personal business.”
“Selby told me he is the best.”
“Will, I could never bear the embarrassment. He would assume we’ve been intimate. He might tell others. What if that did happen and Caroline’s words are true? Everyone would discover that we had an incestuous relationship.”
“Very well,” he said. “We shall continue this your way. But if we don’t uncover something soon, I will speak with Somerton.”
Elizabeth nodded, fighting back the tears that seemed to be constantly near since this afternoon. Will rose and stood before her, holding out his hands to her. She took his hands and he drew her into a tight embrace.
“We will find out the truth. There has to be someone who knows what happened.”
She desperately wanted to believe that. As she stood in the warmth of his arms, she thought of one person who might be able to help. Sophie would never reveal Elizabeth’s secrets and her friend just might be able to use her powers to help her. Before she ever spoke to Lady Selby, she would call on Sophie again.
Feeling his breath on her forehead, she wanted to tell him how she felt about him. But now was not the time. There might not ever be a right time to tell him if
Caroline’s scandalous lies were in fact truth. If they did not find some proof soon, she would leave with her small allowance and try to forge a new life.
And attempt to pretend this never happened. As if that were possible.
The next morning Elizabeth left to visit Sophie while Will continued to search for the diary. He decided to investigate his room thoroughly, including taking apart his small desk. It made the most sense that her mother would have hidden a diary in their bedroom rather than another room in the house. After removing every drawer in the desk, he found nothing.
He sat in the chair and rubbed his temples. What was he missing? There had to be some clue they had overlooked. Perhaps Elizabeth had missed something in the other journals she had found.