She supposed there was only one option left. She would have to find another room upstairs. Kate would assume Selina had moved back into her room on the third floor but she would instead move to the west wing. Kate wouldn’t look for her there since it was so far from the servants’ staircase.
The family wouldn’t stay much longer at the estate and once they left, things would return to normal. Then she could go back to her cottage.
A knock interrupted her musing. “Who is it?”
“It’s Colin. I need to speak with you.”
She wasn’t sure she could see him right now. While she had made her decision her heart weakened every time she was alone with him.
“Selina,” he called again from the hall.
“Go away, Your Grace.”
“Like hell I will,” he said as he opened the door. “If I remember correctly, this is my house.”
She swallowed back the instant desire that flowed with seeing him standing against the closed door. His black hair looked tousled as if he’d been raking his hands through it. It had been neat when he had sat down to eat.
“You should not be in here,” she commented. “It’s almost as scandalous as walking in the dark with me.”
He laughed softly. “Oh, this is far more scandalous.” He stepped closer to her. “I’ve always taken great pride in behaving properly with a lady.”
“But I’m not a lady, just some woman who lives off your land.”
He tilted his head. “You are far more a lady than most of the women of the ton. They would love to get me in a bedchamber alone. Or better yet, to have been discovered walking in the dark night alone with me. That would garner a proposal for certain.”
And yet, sleeping with her didn’t convince him to propose. God, what was she thinking? Even if by some odd chance he did ask her to marry him, she could never accept.
She looked up into his blue eyes and was lost. She might not be able to marry him but she did want him. And she had to stop that nonsense too.
“Why are
you here, Colin?”
“I wanted to apologize for my stepmother.”
“There is no need,” she replied stiffly. “She was only stating the obvious. If anyone but your family discovered you were out with me, people would talk. Or worse, demand you marry me.”
“Would that really be worse?”
“Of course,” she said, getting up from the large bed. She needed no reminders of beds and him. “We are completely different people from vastly different social standings.”
“And that matters?”
She turned and stared at him. “Of course it does.”
“It should not,” he whispered and then stepped closer. His breath heated her cheek.
Fight it, she told herself. No good could come from being with him again. But as he pressed featherlight kisses on her forehead, she remembered the last time she was with him. She wanted that again. The sensation of his bare skin rasping against hers. The taste of his heated kisses. His mouth and tongue teasing her nipples until she thought she might faint from the pleasure of it.
Without another thought, she brought her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. This was a fool’s passion and she was the biggest fool ever. And at that moment, she didn’t care.
Chapter 20
Colin’s control slipped as she responded with such passion to his kisses. He had only come here to apologize for his stepmother’s remarks. Now, he had to have her. Desire had taken over his good sense. He wanted her up against the door, or on the chair, or the bed, anywhere as long as it was now.
“Colin,” she moaned as his lips traced her jaw.
“I want you so desperately.”