So I keep smiling, pretending like none of this is bothering me when in reality my heart is pounding and my hands are clenched so tightly my fingernails are cutting into my palms.
“Nothing to say to that?” the man says.
“I don’t think I’m better than anyone. Do you need any help with your laundry?”
He leans back, giving me a bit of space. I let out a short breath, hoping he can’t tell how relieved I am. I thought he was going to lurch across the counter and grab me for a second.
“Does it look like we’ve got any laundry?” He spreads his hands. “We’re just looking for a good time.”
“This is a laundromat,” I say, a matter of fact.
I want to add, So what sort of good time do you think you’re going to have here, you idiots? But I bite down on those words. My only concern is getting these weirdos as far away from me as possible.
“You see, Charley?” the man says, turning to his friend. “You were wrong.” He turns back to me with a wide grin, too wide for my liking. “We just had some bad luck in the bar. My friend here thought we might have more of a chance with you, you know since you’re so plain… no offense.”
I keep smiling, not letting them see the effect they’re having on me. But inside there’s a twisting feeling in my gut.
It doesn’t matter what they think. I don’t care if they want to view me as plain. But it’s just another reminder that all these fantasies – imagining Lukas would ever be attracted to me – are ridiculous.
“If you don’t have anything to wash…”
“Yeah, yeah.” The man shrugs. “Come on. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
The men march out of the laundromat, throwing the door open aggressively. It slams behind them, and only then do I let out a breath. I lean forward and stare down at my book, telling myself it wasn’t that bad, just a couple of drunk idiots acting like… well, idiots. There’s no reason to lose my cool.
The elderly woman walks over. She’s got a kind face with a purple bandana wrapped around her forehead. “Are you okay, dear?”
I give her a small nod, even though my heart is still pounding. “Yes, I’m fine. They were just being idiots.”
“You handled it the right way. With men like that… I can still smell the liquor.”
“I bet they were on drugs too,” the younger man says, not looking up from his machine as he loads it. “Those bars around the corner are notorious for it. But I’ve been coming here for over a year and there have never been any issues.”
“What happened to the employee before me?”
My mind is filled with ugly scenes, where the employee was chased away, or something terrible happened.
“She got married and moved away.” The elderly lady says softly, as though sensing my thoughts. “Don’t let yourself worry about it.”
I let her words bolster me as she returns to her machine. She’s right. They were just acting so oddly, commenting on my book, assuming I thought I was better than them.
But the comment that sticks with me is the word plain.
I can’t help but wonder if Lukas would agree. If one of his friends saw me, and then described me as plain to him… would he disagree?
I flip another page, focusing on the words in my book, pushing everything else aside.
None of this matters anyway.
Even if Lukas was attracted to me – which he never would be – we wouldn’t be able to do anything. It would break Jamie’s heart.
Chapter Six
Lukas
I try to fight it.
As a few days become a week, and as a week almost becomes two, I try to push away all thoughts of Lorena and get on with my life. There is plenty to keep me busy, between teaching boxing classes at one of my gyms, managing my businesses, and helping out with my outreach charity programs.
But I feel like I’m sleepwalking through my days.
I do everything to the best of my ability – I don’t cut myself any slack – but Lorena is always there. She’s always at the edges of my mind, tempting me with her curvy body, with her young innocent eyes, with that just-Lorena quality that makes me obsessed with starting a family with her.
That’s how I end up sitting across the street from the laundromat, staring at its lighted exterior. This was the only laundromat that needed a new staff member, so I placed Lorena here without giving it too much thought. She wanted the time for studying, she said.
Looking at it now, I wonder if I made a mistake. I wouldn’t allow Lorena to work in a dangerous neighborhood, and I’ve never had any problems here, but there are a few clubs and bars down the street and music playing loudly from one of the apartments.