“You all went insane during the Zero training.” Wendy is still talking. “Us girls? We’re the ones who can handle it.”
Now I’m starting to get pissed. “What do you want, Wendy? You want me to quit? You want me to leave them alone?”
“You already leave some of them alone. You’re picking and choosing, Nick. So let me ask you again. Are you gonna kill Sasha?”
“Don’t be a fucking bitch. I’m never going to kill Sasha.”
“And she’s the worst of them.”
I laugh. “No, Wendy. She’s not.”
“Who is then?” She tips her chin up again. “Hm? Who is? Indie? Angelica? Avery? Daphne? Lily? Hannah? Me?” There is only one girl left that she knows I care about. Only one girl left that I will not kill and for a moment I don’t think she’ll say it, but she does. “Lauren? How are we different?”
“You guys are…” But I pause here to gather my thoughts.
“We’re not, Nick. We’re not different.”
“So you want me to stop. Just let them all breed like crazy. Let whoever’s in charge of them take over the world again with creepy blonde assassins?”
At the word ‘creepy,’ she cringes. Creepy Wendy, that’s what everyone calls her. Not to her face, of course. And it’s not even deliberate. ‘Creepy’ is just the correct word for these beautiful blonde killers. You can’t look them in the eyes and not see it. There is something deeply wrong with them.
And Wendy is not different in that respect. She’s wrong though. Sasha was never even in the running for being the worst of them.
“No, Nick. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying you can’t just pick and choose.”
“Yeah. I can. When you win the war, you make the rules. We won. I make the rules.” Wendy might not be the worst of them, either. But she’s in the running, and she knows this.
“You’re not even in charge, Nick. Not for real.” I start to laugh, but she keeps going. “Adam is. You think you’re in charge because half the Company thinks you’re dead and the other half just wants you to keep pretending that you are. They want you to stay on the road forever so they never have to think about you again.”
“Damn, you’re mean this morning. Can I get you a cup of coffee, Wendy?”
“You’re not in charge,” she says again. “Adam is.”
For a moment, I don’t understand where she’s going with this. But it’s a willful misunderstanding. Because I know exactly what she’s saying. We stare at each other, and it’s a real standoff. I shake my head. “I know you have a thing against Sasha”—she guffaws—“but you need to stay the fuck away from her. Do you hear me, Wendy?”
Her smile says so many things. But it’s not a sad one, so it’s not a real smile. “What happened to ‘do you have any idea what I would do for you?’”
For a moment I’m speechless again. But if I don’t say something she will turn and leave and that’s not how this inevitable separation will begin. And then, before I even realize what’s happening, she’s out of the bedroom and walking towards the front door. “Stay the fuck away from her, Wendy.”
She whirls around, laughs. “Sasha. I always knew it. But now I have proof.”
“Proof of what?”
“I’m just a stand-in, aren’t I? That’s all I’ve ever been. Ever since that day on the beach in Santa Barbara, that’s all I’ve ever been to you, wasn’t it?”
“You’re being fucking stupid. You were five years old. I didn’t even know you. I didn’t even like you.”
She grabs her coat and flips me off. “Fuck you, Nick. Stay the hell away from me or I will show you just how dangerous us Zero girls can really be.”
It always ends with a threat.
“You didn’t even hear my proposal,” I yell after her. “I have a plan for us!”
But she’s already in her truck. Already starting the engine.
This is my problem.
No matter how hard I try, Wendy Gale always wants to kill me in the end.
And this fight was just a tease. The previews. And I know what you’re thinking. She’s not gonna kill you, Nick. Don’t be stupid. You are her best friend. You’re all she has left. And besides that, she loves you.
But you’re being stupid. And by you, I mean me. Because I’ve been waging this war inside my head for four years now.
I started out denying it. She’s not like them. She’s different.
And she is, of course. But she’s not, either.
She knows if we stay together for too long—and I’m not talking two months, I’m talking two weeks—she will kill me.
She won’t be able to stop herself.
So she picks a fight, and she leaves.
And it breaks my fucking heart every single time.
I can’t live like this.
She can’t live like this.
And anyway, I was telling the truth.