With an appreciative smile, I pull on my jacket.
Steve notices me heading out and flashes a questioning look.
I hold up my hand, palm out, and mouth, Five minutes, and then dismiss him from my thoughts as I walk out the door. A few people linger around the firepit, including Jonah. He pauses in his conversation, lifting his chin as if to ask what’s going on.
I shrug and trail Tyler who leads me across the lot toward the shadows of a snow-laden spruce. The cold air is a welcome relief.
“Hatchett asked you to come back, didn’t he?”
“Yeah. I told him I’d think about it.” The last thing I want to talk about is Harry Hatchett. “Tyler, I—”
“Is it serious?” He faces me. “This guy. Is it serious between you and him?”
I falter at his pained stare and the stress in his tone. “We’ve been on a few dates. He’s nice. I like him.”
“But you don’t want to be with him.”
“I don’t?”
“You stiffened when he put his hand on your back.”
He noticed that. Of course he did. “That was because you’re here,” I admit.
His mouth twitches with a tiny smirk of satisfaction before he smooths his expression. “Is it serious?” he asks again, slowly this time.
I hesitate. Why is it so hard to give him an answer? “You know it’s not.”
He exhales heavily. “Then end it.”
“What?” My laugh is hollow.
“I know it’s not fair for me to ask, after everything.” Tyler steps closer, his throat bobbing with a hard swallow. “But I need you to end it. You can’t be with someone else.”
“Tyler—”
“No, just listen for a minute. Please.” He hangs his head, as if trying to gather his thoughts. “My old life is gone. I’ve always known that, but I’m finally starting to see it, if that makes any sense. I can run that team across Alaska a hundred times, and it won’t change a thing. She won’t ever be there at the finish line.” He collects my face in his hands. “But you will be. I want you to be. I can’t lose you, too.”
A rush of warmth radiates throughout my body. “I don’t know what you want from me.” My voice sounds weak, helpless. He’s saying all the right things, everything I want to hear, but that has never been his problem.
His thumb strokes my cheek. “Give me another chance.”
“So you can hurt me again?”
“I promise, it won’t happen again. I won’t do that again. Ever.” Sincerity shines in his bright gaze as he shakes his head firmly. “I wasn’t ready before.”
My pulse races. “Are you saying you’re ready now?” For what, exactly?
“I will be. It just might take me some time, but I want you here with me while I get to that place. I need you with me. I want to give you everything you want. I’m in love with you.” He leans in to press his forehead against mine, his mouth inches away. “Please don’t give up on me yet.”
His words are an echo of what Roy just said inside, and coupled with his declaration, they pierce through all doubts and reservations.
“Marie?”
I startle and break away from Tyler, my guilt surging.
Steve stands over on the cleared path, twenty feet away. Maybe too far to hear what was said but surely close enough to see that this is far more than a platonic chat. The look on his face says as much.
Reed has ventured outside and is at the firepit next to Jonah, who watches us intently, looking ready to involve himself if needed.
Tyler smooths his palm over his beard. He has the decency to offer Steve a murmured sorry before he turns back to me. The question in his stare is clear, even within the shadows.
I swallow. “I need time to think.” Time away from this heady vacuum I always get sucked into when I’m around Tyler, where nothing else matters.
His chest lifts with a deep inhale. “Reed and I are going to head home now.” His eyes touch my lips. I know that look well. He wants to kiss me. If Steve weren’t standing right here, I would let him. “You know where to find me, if you decide you want to.” With that, he nods at Reed and then moves deeper into the parking lot for their truck.
And I slowly walk toward the man who doesn’t deserve any of this. “I’m so sorry.”
“Oliver mentioned that there was another guy.” Steve watches Tyler’s truck pull onto the road. “I take it that’s him?”
“Yeah. I guess we still have some unresolved issues to work through.” Namely, that I’m madly in love with him, and it sounds like the feeling is mutual. I allow that reality sink in for just a moment and a rush of adrenaline washes over me. “You’re a great guy. Under different circumstances …” I let the words drift because I know firsthand how much it doesn’t help to hear them.