Her chin snapped up, and she glared at him. Her eyes were bluer than ever, that amazing teal that a man like him could drown in.
“That’s where you’re wrong, baby. I feel just fine. I was straight with you about what I am from the very beginning. I get off on punishing you. You give me a good reason, you’re going to get your sweet little ass turned red.”
“Do you really think it’s necessary for me to tell you about my dreams, Savage?”
Seychelle laid her head against his chest as if she was so exhausted, she couldn’t keep the weight of it up another moment. She probably was. He’d been very hard on her for more than one reason. Training her body should have gone much slower, taking much longer, but he knew they just didn’t have the time. He’d used heavier instruments on her and kept her body on edge in order to continue training her body to need his. He was very worried that an upcoming club run was going to tip him over the edge, which meant regardless of whether she was ready or not, Seychelle was going to bear the brunt of his sadism.
“Yeah, Seychelle, when you have nightmares bad enough that you’re puking in a toilet two mornings in a row, I’m going to find out what’s wrong. As far as I’m concerned, that’s my fuckin’ business. I take care of you. If you’re sick, I call the doctor. If you’re upset, I figure out why and fix it. You’re puking in the toilet, I’m going to ask why and you’re going to tell me.”
He massaged her scalp with strong fingers and then the nape of her neck, easing the tension out of her body. “I love you, baby. I’m not a good man, but you promised to love me the way I am. I’m doing my best to try to take care of you. I can’t have stalkers pointing guns at you and you being so upset you’re throwing up and afraid to tell me why.” His fingers went back up to her scalp. “We set some ground rules, and we’re going to abide by them. I told you I needed certain things in order to keep my life sane. You’re the center of my world. I’m not taking chances on losing you.”
She sighed. “I’m struggling with all of this, Savage. I feel overwhelmed.”
“I know you are.” He brushed kisses on her temple. “I’m a lot to ask you to accept, but you already made the commitment. We both did.”
“I didn’t mind the punishment, although it hurt like hell,” she admitted. “I did mind the fact that you got off and I didn’t.”
She raised her eyes to his and he could see the misery there. He brushed another kiss over her lips. “It was a punishment, baby. You weren’t supposed to feel good. I fucked you as part of the punishment because you lied to me, and you didn’t deserve to get off and you know it.” He kissed her gently. “That’s part of the lesson.”
“I hated that lesson.”
“But you’ll remember it, won’t you?”
“Yes.” She laid her head against his chest again, cuddling into him. “If you didn’t kill Arnold, how do you know he’s dead, Savage?” Her voice trembled just the slightest.
It took discipline to stay relaxed. He didn’t want to answer questions about Joseph Arnold, but he’d just told her they didn’t lie to each other. On the other hand, he could skirt around subjects that she couldn’t handle—and right now he could see she was at her limit.
“Code found out that Arnold had stalked a couple of other women. Those women had disappeared. One of them was the sister of the member of another club.” That was very true. “We turned him over to the club. When it was determined that Arnold had murdered her, they indicated that they killed him.”
Savage chose his words very carefully. He had interrogated Joseph Arnold when Code had found that two other women had been stalked and he was suspected in their disappearance. One of them was the sister of a member of the Genesis club, a major player they could always use goodwill with. Favors came in handy when running through territories hot. Czar had put in a call asking if they wanted Arnold and saying he would be taken as far as Sacramento if they wanted him. They did.
He felt Seychelle sag with relief and knew he’d made the right decision not to tell her everything. Coming clean might be right, but he would lose her. She was overloaded, struggling to come to terms with his need for control, the punishments and her body’s arousal when she experienced pain. She wasn’t completely sold on the club either. The last thing she needed to deal with was knowing her man took human beings apart and didn’t break a sweat or feel remorse.