“Oh,” I said softly. “Well, I feel stupid.”
A laugh escaped me. I’d really worked myself up to think that something was wrong. I should have texted Lewis earlier, and maybe I wouldn’t have let this worry creep in.
“Hey, don’t feel stupid. I didn’t realize that his plans were with you.”
“Yeah, well, no big. I’ll talk to him tomorrow when his phone charges. Thanks for letting me know.”
“Anytime, Natalie. Anytime.”
I hung up the phone, feeling like a moron. We weren’t dating. I wasn’t his girlfriend. I was the casual sex that I’d offered him. He didn’t owe me an explanation for why he was staying out all night when we had plans.
With a sigh, I grabbed the last piece of cold pizza we’d ordered in the night before from the place in East Hampton that I was now obsessed with. I ate it on the way back to the bedroom to snuggle with Totle…alone. Happy celebrating to me.
Natalie
25
My arms viciously cut through the pool. I hadn’t swam like this in a long time. Needing the release of diving into something and not coming up for air. Just me and the water. Slicing through the water, exerting my body to its max, racing my own thoughts. I’d be sore tomorrow, but I didn’t even care. It was the only thing that really quieted everything down.
I was still disappointed about yesterday.
And irritated with myself for being disappointed.
I was the one who had started this casual thing. I had known it was a bad idea. I’d let Amy talk me into it. And then the sex had just been so good.
But I’d be stupid if I said yesterday hadn’t proven just how much the casual thing did not work for me. I’d tried to rationalize. Truth was harder to look in the face.
Truth was…I was falling for Penn Kensington.
I was leaving in a matter of weeks, and I was catching feelings for someone I knew I couldn’t have. Our worlds didn’t connect. Our lives were so far from normal.
I didn’t want to want this. I didn’t want to want him.
It’d be easier if I didn’t.
Easier if I hated him still. If I had never seen him as anything but the asshole who had left me in Paris. So, so much easier.
I came up gasping for breath and saw a figure in a black suit standing over the pool. His hands were in his pockets. He had stubble on his jaw. And he looked like hell.
“Morning,” he said when I looked up at him.
“Nice of you to show up.” I swam over to my water bottle and took a long drink.
“I’m sorry about last night.”
I waved my hand at him. “Why would you be? You don’t owe me anything.”
“Well, I told you I’d be back last night. I made plans with you, and then I broke them. I didn’t even let you know I was breaking them.”
I shrugged. “It’s not like we’re dating.”
“No,” he agreed, “we’re not dating. But I should have called, and now, you’re mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you. I was worried about you. There’s a difference.”
I was mad at myself. Not at him.
I hopped out of the pool and hastily toweled off before hustling back inside to put on warmer clothes. Penn followed me as I put sweats back on, tugging a hoodie over my T-shirt and knotting my hair on the top of my head.
“Natalie,” Penn said, reaching out and stopping me in my tracks.
“It’s really fine.” I stepped out of his touch. “You’re safe. Lewis said he got you drunk. Your work meeting must not have gone that great if you had to get drunk after.”
“Work meeting?” he asked.
“Yeah…you said you had work stuff.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did,” I said and then thought back on our conversation. It slowly dawned on me. “No, you didn’t.”
“I had a meeting with an old friend. I would have rather been working for how well the meeting went. Lewis and I went out after. I honestly thought I’d have one beer, but he kept me out.”
“Oh. Who was the friend?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“No one important. Someone I knew from college. She said she wanted to meet with me about my book project but spent more time catching up.” He rolled his eyes. “So, will you accept my apology?”
She. Hmm…I wondered who this mysterious old friend was. Not that it was anything I should wonder or care about. He was back and trying to apologize. I should just accept the apology and move on. I was really upset with myself for doing exactly what I’d told Amy that I’d do.
“Okay,” I finally said.
“Will you let me make it up to you?” he asked, tilting my chin up.
“I’m really not in the mood right now,” I whispered. “Plus, the decorator should be here soon.”