Cruel Money (Cruel 1)

And I wanted us to be.

I didn’t want my prediction to Amy to come true.

Still, I was quiet on the way back to the beach house the next morning. I wasn’t even upset that Penn had seen Emily so much as he hadn’t told me he did. We weren’t dating at the time. Though things had obviously been heating up. And I understood that he wanted to have closure in regard to her.

I just hated the lying. How easy it had come to him. How he’d been able to say he was going to a meeting and let me assume it was for work. Then say he was visiting a “friend.” As if that friend wasn’t his ex-girlfriend.

Totle bounded up the stairs ahead of me as we exited the Audi and entered the beach house. I let him out back and watched as he ran around before doing his business. I heard Penn’s footsteps behind me. His hand rested on my back.

“Nat.”

“He’s so happy. Carefree and happy.”

“He is,” Penn agreed. “You’ve been quiet.”

“Just thinking. Curse of a writer. Always stuck in my head.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I turned and looked up into his gorgeous face. Those big blue eyes and that strong jawline and perfect lips. But there was no smile. Only a furrow from worry between his eyes and concern in his baby blues.

“You know, not really.”

“Okay,” he said evenly, taking a step back. “Well, I think we should talk about it when you’re ready. But in the meantime, the guest bedrooms are finished. You could always move back into your old room. Or I could take a different bed if you want. That way, you have your own space.”

“No,” I said at once. I was even surprised by my immediate resistance. I didn’t want to move out of the master. I wanted to stay where he was. I didn’t want this to ruin everything.

“No?”

“I don’t want space. Not from you.”

“I don’t either.”

“You made a mistake. You owned up to it. I don’t want to move backward with you, Penn. I just want forward.”

That beautiful smile returned, and he retrieved that step he’d taken backward. “Good. I didn’t really want you to leave my bed.”

I playfully swatted at him. “So, this is all about sex?”

“You know it’s not,” he said, pulling me closer.

“I do know.” It was the reason that I was even saying this. Because it wasn’t just sex with him. It was so much more. And I knew that I had trust issues, but I didn’t want it to crumble us. “I’m only here for ten more days. Then I’m going home to Charleston.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” he told me.

“I know. But my contract is up for the house. I planned to go home for the holidays and look for another home-watching job for the New Year. So, I think we should make the most of this.”

“You don’t know what’s in store for the future.”

“That’s kind of part of the job.”

“I meant with us.” His hands slid up into my silvery-white hair, and he gazed down at me with a look of adoration.

“Can we take it one day at a time?” I asked helplessly. Because if I thought too far forward, the prospect got scary. Did we work long-distance? Did I try to get another job in New York? He couldn’t leave Columbia, but I couldn’t afford the city.

It was all too complicated. And with the issue of trust still hanging precariously between us, I didn’t want to deal with it right now. So, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him before he could respond one way or another.

Penn didn’t need any more encouragement after the last twenty-four hours. He pressed me back into the wall. His hands moving freely down my body. His lips hard against mine. As if he could kiss away our problems. Use his tongue to make me forget what we were going through. And honestly, it worked.

My brain shut down. There was just him in this moment. I craved his touch, his lips, his everything. I wanted him to claim me. Remind me that I was his and he was mine. And what had happened wasn’t real.

It was irrational. Our problems would still be there when we finished. But I still cared for him. I still wanted things to work between us. I still wanted him so desperately. Just like I had that night in Paris.

It didn’t change how I felt. Even though how I felt complicated my entire life. Because Penn Kensington was a game changer.

I knew it. And was helpless to the fact.

I’d been so upset all those years ago because I thought I’d known even then. We’d connected so deeply, so fast. I’d told him things I’d never really told anyone else. I’d thought it would be a fairy tale. Now, I was living that fairy tale. And I refused to let it go.