Even when he’d wronged her, she gave him an out. He didn’t deserve a woman like her, but he was selfish enough to grab whatever scraps she allowed him while working for more. Jagger had been right. Like him, Hannah was just trying to swim through the shark-infested waters of Mary Anne’s actions without drowning or getting eaten alive.
“I fucked up,” he said. “I was shocked. More than shocked, really, and I reacted without thinking.”
“JP, I understood your reaction. I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same. I lied to you for weeks then blurted it all out at the worst possible time. The one thing I want you to know, though, is that I never came here with the intention of taking Kayla away from you. Never.”
Even though only a few inches separated them, the distance seemed too far. He had to touch her. So he cupped her face, stroking his thumb across the smooth skin of her cheek. “I believe you, Hannah. Jagger said something to me the other day that really resonated. He said that I’m not the only one trying to settle into my new normal after the consequences of your sister’s choices and her death. You are, your parents are, all of us are doing the best we can with the circumstances we were given. None of us are going to handle this perfectly or without screwing up on occasion. I’m sorry I lost my shit on you the other day. Kayla needs you in her life, Hannah.”
And I think I might need you in mine.
“JP, thank you,” Hannah said on a rushed exhale as she nuzzled into his palm. She closed her eyes and placed a hand on his bare chest. Heat seared straight to his balls as though he’d been zapped with a cattle prod.
“Hannah,” he said in a strained voice as he fought to keep from grinding his now hard as fuck dick against her.
“Sorry,” she started to pull her hand back, but he pressed his over it, keeping her touch on his skin.
“I’m not. Christ, Hannah. I’m so fucking hard for you right now.”
Her eyes flared. “Y-you are?”
“I want you. I wanted you the moment I saw you, and that desire has grown each time we’ve hung out. Not just because I think you are the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. Hannah, you’re kind, you’re fun, you’re amazing with Kayla, you’re sweet, you’re intelligent. Every time I’m with you, I learn something new about you that makes me want you even more. I’ve never given a shit beyond getting off. I’m in so far over my head I can’t see the surface, but I don’t think I want to. Fuck, I’m rambling.”
If she ran in the opposite direction, he wouldn’t blame her. But now that he’d opened his mouth, the words wouldn’t stay in. He needed her to know how he felt.
“I know there are a million reasons I should stay away and keep my hands to myself, but I can’t. Not anymore. I want you more than I want to breathe.”
And he did. At that moment, he worried he’d die faster from unrequited lust than if all the oxygen suddenly disappeared from the room.
“JP,” she said, flexing her fingers against this pec muscle.
He bit his lip to keep the frustrated groan inside. God, how he wanted that hand wrapped around his needy cock.
She blinked up at him with a shy smile. “I want you, too. The same way. It’s intense and unfamiliar, and I’m getting so tired of fighting it.” Clouds drifted into her gaze, giving her eyes a stormy, almost gray hue. “Kayla isn’t the only reason I couldn’t leave Vermont.”
Those words made his heart soar.
“But there is one other confession I have to make before we can move forward.”
Well, fuck, what bomb was she about to drop now?
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
HANNAH’S INSIDES SHOOK worse than they had when she met JP for the first time. And she’d been beyond nervous then.
Earthquake-sized tremors rolled through her stomach now.
Please don’t throw up on him.
JP frowned. “Hannah, you’re shaking.” Tension had his back straightening. “Is it that bad?”
“No.” Yes? Maybe. Who the hell knew how he’d react, but she’d opened the box and now she needed to let the contents out.
“Tell me.” His hands roamed up and down her back, along her arms, over her hips. The touch was equal parts comfort and agony. Not for the first time, she wished she’d tossed away her virginity in her teens, so she could come to him as his equal, without the nerves and with knowledge and experience. Unfortunately, wishing was a waste of time. She’d learned that years ago. All she could do now was embrace her new life outside the box, be honest, and wait to see if her news killed his desire.