It was her comfort zone, after all.
More comfortable than opening your heart to a man.
She blinked. God, had she done it on purpose? Blown up at JP? Misconstrued his words because it was easier, less terrifying to remain in her small box than experience all life had to offer?
She pressed a hand to her stomach, shaking her head. Her mind wouldn’t quiet, but she had to find a way to silence it because she was there now and needed to see this through.
“Okay, sorry about that. She is in on the psych floor which means you won’t be able to go straight to her room. But it does look like you are on the list of approved visitors. I’ll call up and let them know you’re coming so they can bring your mom to the common room.” He glanced up from the computer. “See those elevators over there?” he asked, pointing.
Hannah followed his finger to a bank of elevators beyond the fountain. “Yes, I see them.”
“Those are the ones you want. Take them to the fifth floor. Make a left out of the elevator. Follow the hallway. It’s going to take you through an enclosed bridge over to tower two. There’s really only one way to go, so you won’t get lost. They’ll buzz you into the common room when you arrive.”
“Left out of the elevator, follow the hall to tower two, get buzzed in. Got it. Thank you for your help.” She tapped the top of the desk.
“My pleasure. Have a good one.”
With a nod, Hannah was off. Funny how she could outwardly portray a calm person who wasn’t dying inside when she felt one stiff breeze away from shattering.
“Breathe,” she mumbled to herself as she pushed the up button on the elevator. Thankfully, she was the only one waiting and was able to catch an empty elevator. Making small talk with strangers wasn’t high on her list for the day. At least when she was alone, she didn’t have to smile and pretend life was good.
After a quick trip, the elevator doors slid open on the fifth floor. As instructed, Hannah followed the hallway across the bridge and to a set of locked doors. She pushed the button, stated her name and was admitted. A nurse pointed her to the common room and they said her mother was already waiting there.
“Thank you,” she said to the nurse before making her way to the common room.
As she approached, her father’s voice rang out from the otherwise quiet space.
“Patti, they aren’t going to let you out until you speak with the psychologist. Please stop refusing so we can get you home.”
“David, I don’t need to see a psychologist. This entire thing is being blown out of proportion.” Her mother’s voice was riddled with annoyance.
A heavy sigh came from her father. “Sweetheart, you’ve been through so much lately. They found a mixture of medication and alcohol in your system when you crashed. They’re worried, and quite frankly, so am I, that you may have done this with the intention of harming yourself. I can’t lose you too, Patti.”
Those words made Hannah’s heart ache with fierce sadness. Her poor father. She should knock, let them know they weren’t alone, but the desire to hear her mother’s reply overrode her senses. Patti would never admit the truth in front of Hannah, but maybe she would when alone with her husband.
“Enough, David. I’m getting tired of listening to you parrot the doctors. It’s tiresome.”
“I’m only saying it because I love you.”
“Look, it’s just us right now. You can stop playing along.”
“What?”
In her mind’s eye, she could see her father’s forehead wrinkle in confusion as it did whenever he was concentrating or solving a puzzle.
“You’re really gonna make me spell it out?” her mother asked.
“Yes, Patti, I really am because I have no idea what you’re talking about right now.”
“Of course, I did it on purpose. But not with the intent of actually hurting myself. Give me a little credit, David, I know what I’m doing.”
Hannah’s jaw dropped. What the hell?
“I…but…what? I don’t know what you’re doing.”
“I’ve tried everything I can think of to get Hannah to listen to reason. I’ve shown her who those Bensons are and how bad they are for Kayla, and instead of coming to her senses, she’s dug her heels in. The stubborn child. I’d never have expected it from her. I thought for sure, cutting off communication would drive her home, but even that didn’t work. Whether she’s just being rebellious or she thinks she actually has feelings for that JP, it doesn’t matter. I’m her mother. I know what’s best for her. And I’ll do whatever I need to protect my child and my grandchild.”
Holy crap! Hannah couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t even think. Her mother couldn’t possibly mean what it sounded like she meant.