When I Say Yes (Necklace Trilogy 3)

His lashes lower, his jaw clenching before he looks at me again. “I know you were.”

That’s all he says, I know you were…

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I’m reminded of a quote I read once, though I can’t say where I read it: Honesty is the highest form of intimacy. Last night, I felt the bond between myself and Dash shift and change, the bonds that were newly formed growing stronger. I know he is not pleased that I went to Tyler, but I can’t allow that to stop me from speaking the words that linger on my tongue.

I’ve made the spur of the moment decision to tell Dash everything about last night, to protect him and us, and I’m not going to back down now. “I know you don’t want Tyler involved in your life or mine,” I quickly add, “but I also want honesty between us, Dash. I didn’t tell you about Brandon, which you know why, but that blew up in my face. So, there’s more to tell you and I’m just going to spit it out. When he couldn’t help, I could think of only one other person who might help. Only one other person I knew who made a habit of discretion. That was Mark Compton, one of the owners of Riptide. I’m close to his mother who has cancer and who I’d hoped to visit while we were here. She’s not up for it. But I know he’d help me because of how she feels about me. And I promised to connect his mother to my mother to talk about what they both are going through.” I press my hand to my head. “I’m really rambling, but I’m just going to keep going. It turns out that Mark bets on the fights. He knew how to get me to you. And he wants his role with the underground fighting private as well. He told me about his bets so that I could tell you, and so I, we, knew he wouldn’t burn you.” I pause for his thoughts, but he says nothing, so I just keep on keeping on. “He also told me he wanted loyalty in exchange for help, but that he was clear that you came first before the job. I proposed an idea to keep the role I have now for Hawk Legal, but work for Riptide. He seems open to it.”

Dash’s cellphone rings and he glances at the number. “I need to take this and get changed.” He stands up and he actually walks out of the room. I blink, confused first, and then concerned. I push to my feet and start to pace, not sure if I should follow him. He obviously wants a moment away from me. I walk to the window and stare out at the city I’d once thought a perfect place to live, but it was never the right place for me. I know that now.

My mind goes back to last night, and how perfect Dash’s response to my inhibitions, my confessions about my past. I don’t want him to feel betrayed by my actions when they were well-intentioned. I turn and race toward the bedroom. I find Dash at the window, much like I had been in the living room, his shoulders tensed. I don’t even think twice. I rush toward him and then in a minute, I’m pushing in between him and the window, his fingers are in my hair and he’s kissing me, a kiss that feels like ten thousand shades of torment.

“I’m sorry,” he says when his mouth parts from mine. “I should never have put you in that position last night.”

“I can’t apologize for coming after you, Dash. I love you and—”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “It won’t happen again, Allie. I’m done fighting.” He tilts my gaze to his. “I’m done fighting.”

“It’s not that easy, Dash. It’s an addiction. I know you know that.”

“I don’t need that. I need you,” he repeats. “I know I’ve said that before but you proved that to me last night. I thought I had to fight, and then you showed up, and I knew what a fool I was. Why was I there and not with you? It won’t happen again. If it’s between you and fighting, you win.”

“You need to do it for you, not me. You know that, right?”

“I’m doing it for both of us, baby.”

But as Dash kisses me again, backing me toward the bed and undressing me, I know that nothing about what happened last night is as simple as this moment in his arms. Nor is it as simple as him choosing not to fight. Dash is captive to the past, just as I have been, and the past wants to destroy us. I still like to believe love conquers all. Of course, that sounds like a fairytale, but no one said fairytales don’t include monsters.