He sighed as if he hated to see my reason. My rather valid reason.
“I will rain check that kiss,” he said, dropping his hands to my sides and pulling me in for a hug instead.
I slipped my hands around his neck and breathed him in. “Thank you for being there for me when I needed you. I’m sorry it’s…about this.”
“Yeah.” He abruptly broke away and turned back to the kitchen.
“Penn…”
“Good luck,” he ground out and then headed for the liquor cabinet.
I swallowed hard. This wasn’t what I’d wanted. Fuck. All I did was fuck it all up. And now, I had to go face Lewis when I wasn’t ready.
I ruffled Totle’s head and then left Penn’s apartment without another word. He was probably going to drink himself into a stupor. I wouldn’t mind doing the same right about now.
Especially when I stepped off the elevator and found Lewis walking into the building.
“Natalie,” he said in relief. “I’ve been all over the city, looking for you.”
“I know.”
“Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
“I needed time to think.”
“With him?” he all but snarled.
I gave him a flat, level look. “Nothing happened with Penn. He just listened to me and let me draw my own conclusions.”
“Oh, I bet he did.”
“Let’s not do this right now.”
“I just need to know if, every time we have an argument, you’re going to go run to him,” Lewis said.
“Are we planning to have a lot more arguments?” I asked, my anger trying to slip its leash once more.
“You know what I mean.”
“I don’t think that I do,” I said sharply. “I have been nothing but honest with you, Lewis. Nothing but honest. I even told you when he kissed me at Harmony’s party. I told you when I had to tell him to leave us alone. You watched me do so. I don’t see any reason that you wouldn’t trust me when I said that nothing happened right now. Unless perhaps your guilty conscience is speaking.”
“I don’t have a guilty conscience,” he said.
“Then what is this?”
“It’s more like, I yelled at my own father for what he did to you. Then, when I went looking for you to apologize, you were nowhere. When I finally worked up the nerve to call Penn—fuck, can you imagine how that felt?—you were actually there. So, I’m on edge. Sue me.”
I narrowed my eyes at the tone of his voice. “It was wrong of me to go to Penn’s. Especially when you didn’t know where I was. But I cannot believe that you are actually using this outrageous tone with me right now when you’re the one who has been keeping secrets and lying to me again. Again.” I shook my head as my anger spilled into my words. “After you lied to me about the bet, I wouldn’t think you’d be stupid enough to do that again.”
“It wasn’t a lie.”
“A lie of omission is still a lie!” I yelled.
“Okay. Okay.” He held his hands up. “Can I just take you home, and we can talk about this there?”
“No. We can talk about it right now.”
“You’re still mad.”
“You fucking think so?”
“I’m sorry, okay? I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about the money. Or the deal with the publishing company. I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you from what my father did. I should have seen what was coming when he was acting so nice. It was a ploy, and I fell into it. And I hate it. I’d take it all back if I could.”
“Fine. I just need to know what else there is.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, suddenly on guard.
“There’s something else you aren’t telling me, and I want it out in the open.”
“Why would you think there’s something else?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Because this is the Upper East Side. I’ve been fucked over by this world before. I saw warning signs and ignored them. And I won’t do that this time.”
“Are you comparing me to Penn?” he demanded.
“I’m speaking from experience. Not drawing a comparison,” I told him. “You pushed the company to give me more money. If you’d do that and not tell me, what else would you keep from me?”
His eyes moved back and forth over my face, as if he were debating what the hell to say next. And I could see it then. See it all over his pretty face that there was more. He was deciding whether or not he would lie to me.
“Tell me right now,” I said, low and brutal, “or I walk.”
“I was going to see you on your signing tour. They’re standard for an author in your position. But I hadn’t factored in the fact that you’d refuse a tour,” he said carefully. “So, when I heard from a contact at the company that they were thinking of bringing you into the city anyway, I told them to pull the trigger.”