The image of her hair wrapped around my fist flashes through my mind, and I rest my right hand over my lap to hide the raging hard-on I have.
You’d think after three months of working closely with JJ, I’d be used to the emotions and need she evokes in me, but not a chance. Before she came along, sex didn’t feature much in my life because I was too absorbed in my work.
Christ, I don’t think I’ve ever jerked off so much before, not even when I went through puberty. It’s become a part of my morning and night routine, so I don’t die of blue balls and I can actually focus on getting my work done.
The guests start to settle as Kelvin takes his place upfront, and soon the wedding march begins to play, followed by the bride walking down the aisle.
I’ve never been one for weddings, always finding it boring, but sitting next to JJ, my heartbeat speeds up. I imagine her dressed in white, walking toward me. Her taking my name and saying I do to me being the only man who’ll get to fuck her for the rest of her life.
Christ, I’ll be okay as long as she stays single, but at some point, I’ll have to do something. I’ll either have to kill the love and need growing for my partner, or I’ll have to risk our work relationship and tell her I want more. I want everything.
Chapter 8
JJ
I’ve never been emotional at weddings until I picture O’Brien standing upfront and saying I do to another woman.
It hits like a ten-pound hammer and knocks the breath from me. The air bursts from my lips in a gasp while my eyes well with tears from the thought of O’Brien getting married one day. There’s a physical ache in my chest, relentless and raw.
The intense reaction is unexpected, totally catching me off guard, and for a moment, my walls crumble to the ground.
O’Brien’s arm curls tighter around my shoulders, and he tugs me to his side. Unable to stop myself, I lean into him, pressing my cheek against the warmth of his chest. His thumb brushes over my skin, the gentle touch electrifying every nerve ending in my body. His cologne wraps around me, and his presence demands all of my attention.
I take a deep breath, gaining control over my emotions, then let the air out slowly.
O’Brien leans his head down, then whispers, “You okay?”
I nod, my cheek brushing against his chest, and remembering I’m wearing makeup, I pull back and quickly wipe the light dusting of powder from his vest and shirt. “Sorry.”
When the vows are said and everyone gets up, O’Brien places his hand on my lower back again, sticking close to my side as we walk to the garden where the reception will be held.
“It’s a beautiful wedding,” I murmur while glancing around at all the greenery, lace, and elegant white lilies.
“Do weddings always make you emotional?” he asks, steering me toward our table.
I shrug, then tell him a white lie. “I just pictured Lindsay on her wedding day and got hit with an unexpected wave of emotion.”
“That’s understandable.”
I give O’Brien a thankful smile, then pull an awkward face. “I don’t usually lose control of my emotions.”
Only when it comes to you.
He shakes his head lightly as he pulls a chair out for me. While I’m taking a seat, O’Brien takes off his jacket, then drapes it over my shoulders before he sits down next to me.
He’s the perfect date.
My heart squeezes painfully, wishing this was a real date but knowing that will never happen.
We’re joined by another couple, and after introductions, I learn Lillian is Ally’s cousin. They have a pretentious air hanging thickly around them, so I don’t bother making meaningless conversation but instead turn my attention to O’Brien.
He meets my gaze, then brings a hand up to my face. My breathing stops, and my skin starts tingling right before his fingers brush a couple of strands behind my ear. The action is so intimate, my insides tremble, and my abdomen squeezes with an ache that can only be soothed by O’Brien.
I’m way past the point of falling for him.
Someone clears his throat into a microphone, popping the intimate bubble between us. O’Brien rests his arm on the back of my chair again, turning his attention to the bridal table.
What I’d give to lean into him, to hold his hand and have his strong fingers weave through mine, to have him look at me with love.
Taking a deep breath, I push my emotions down for the zillionth time and listen to the toasts being made for Kelvin and Ally.
When the food is served, I quickly become absorbed in how O’Brien’s jaw moves while he chews. Every single movement from him entrances me.
By the time the married couple opens the dance floor, I’m exhausted from fighting off my attraction. I didn’t think it would be this hard, seeing as I spend every working day with O’Brien, but being in a social setting with him has turned the tables on me.