“So, you thought breaking into his apartment was the right move?” I asked hysterically.
“No. Of course not. I told myself that, if he loved you and wanted to do right by you…if you weren’t another one of his fascinations, then he wouldn’t have a file. He’d treat you like the incredible woman that you are. I told myself I would go to his apartment and see if he had one, and if he didn’t, I’d bow out. I’d fucking get a job somewhere else and leave you two to the Upper East Side.”
My heart stopped at those words. “You would have left?”
“For you to be happy?” he asked softly. “Yes. And also because I couldn’t have endured watching it.”
“So…you went looking for the file.”
“Yep, and that motherfucker had this fucking thing on his computer. The manuscript you’d just told me about. All the footage and pictures. I flipped my shit and downloaded the whole thing, and then I knew I had to tell you.”
“And you had to tell me here?” I asked softly. “At the reception? You couldn’t have…called me?”
“Would you have met up with me?”
“I don’t know, Penn!”
“Lewis was acting crazy. He had a ring. I didn’t know if he was going to propose tonight or not,” he said, clearing the distance between us. “I wasn’t going to fucking let you marry him. No fucking way. Not knowing what he’d done. The game he had played to win you.”
“It’s all just a fucking game,” I spat. “Another fucking game.”
My anger burst. Everything I’d been holding in unloaded at once. I pushed against his chest. But he stayed firm, enduring that anger as if he were weathering a storm.
“Natalie,” he said, reaching out to stop me.
But I couldn’t be contained. “How? How could he do this to me? How could he lie? Just fucking lie to my face. I don’t understand.” My voice broke. “I asked for the truth. Is the truth that fucking hard?”
“No,” he said.
“Don’t fucking talk to me about that,” I yelled at him. “You lied, too. You held everything back. This is your fault, too.”
“I lied. I’m sorry. I was wrong. But I wasn’t fucking stalking you, Natalie. I didn’t plan a way for us to be together. We just were. Let out your anger about Lewis, but don’t confuse the two.”
“Fine. No anger for you, just him. Seems fair,” I said sarcastically. I pushed away from him again, deaf to his reasoning. My world had tipped upside down again. I’d had that caution about Lewis, but I’d just told Amy that it was going to be fine. I needed time to process. And now, this?
How did I even move on from this?
This wasn’t a stupid bet that had gotten me fired. This was my boyfriend actually creepily stalking me. Not just arranging for us to meet, but going behind my back and forcing us together. Taking pictures and videos of me without my knowledge.
If that wasn’t bad enough…all three of my manuscripts I’d submitted to Warren were there. He knew how I felt about him reading my work. He knew. I’d told him time and time again. It was the only thing I’d never given up on. So, he’d gone behind my back and stolen the books.
“I’ve taken a year of your anger. Fuck, seven years of your anger, Natalie. But I did this for you. I didn’t want you to find out another way or years down the line when you were fucking married, okay?”
I beat against Penn’s chest, letting out all my frustration and grief. “How could he do this to me?”
“Natalie, stop. Just stop.”
When it was clear that I wasn’t going to be consolable, Penn reached forward and grabbed both of my wrists. I struggled against him, and he pulled them over my head, backing me into the wall and bracing me against it with his body.
“Breathe,” he said soothingly. “Breathe, Natalie.”
I took a deep inhalation and slowly released it. I’d been near hyperventilating. And I hadn’t even known it. Just panic coursing through me. Taking over. My whole body was shaking. The knowledge that I’d fallen into this trap again—only worse—had shattered something vital within me. I couldn’t seem to find that string to pull me back to myself.
“He read my manuscripts,” I whispered, my bottom lip trembling. I bit down into it, hard enough to keep me in the here and now. My blue eyes were clear as I looked up into his face. “He fucking read them.”
“I know.” He sounded pained. “I’m sorry. I wish I could save you from this.”
He’d tried. He’d told me. Addie had told me. But I hadn’t listened. I’d been so fucking stupid. And now, where was I?
I shook my head and suddenly felt exactly how we were positioned against the wall. Penn’s hips pressed into my own. His hands securing my wrists over my head. His lips mere inches from mine.