Normally it would piss me off that Cane had his hand in this, but the truth is I couldn’t afford more, and this is working. I’m not going to let my pride get in the way of that. Plus, Marta being here more means I get to spend more time with Cane. That’s been priceless to both of us.
It’s allowed us to get to know each other again and not just on a physical level. I can’t describe how much I missed that man. I feel lighter these days and truly happy, which I haven’t been since my mom passed. Except for whenever I walk into this house. Then it feels like a dark cloud falls over me, and I hate that. This is my home, but lately it’s the last place I want to be, and I don’t want it to be that way.
“You want some?” Dad asks as Marta gets the plates.
“Sure. I’ll have a small plate.”
“Did you already eat?” He turns his head my way.
“Yeah, I had a little something earlier.”
“Seen your truck was gone. You have breakfast with Scooter?” he asks.
Okay, maybe he is buying into the Scooter thing some. He’s dropped a few hints that Scotter and I might make a good fit lately. I know that has everything to do with Cane coming around more. He’d heard about the gossip blog that showed a picture of Cane and me kissing. That had been one hell of a fight.
He knows deep down I’ve always loved Cane even when I was mad at him before his accident. When I was younger and Mom and I talked about Cane, it wasn't a whispered secret or anything. Back then, he even liked the idea of Cane and me together, too.
“I had breakfast over at the Double J. You know Calder got married. I’ve been getting close to his new wife Birdie. She’s expecting.” There, that’s not a lie.
“Don’t all their wives die or something?” He shoves some eggs on one of the plates. Marta holds out another for him to fill.
“I thought you said that curse was stupid,” I remind him. He grunts a response. “Think I’m going to help her with the baby shower,” I add. “Seeing her pregnant is giving me baby fever.” I laugh. The spatula slips from my dad’s hand. Marta grabs it, handing it back to him.
“And who do you think you’re going to have a baby with? We have enough to handle around here right now.”
“You mean I have enough to handle around here.”
“Astor,” he warns.
“What, Dad? It’s the truth.” The words burst from me. “You only started trying to get yourself better. I love you, and I want to help you, but you make it impossible. I’ve put everything on hold, and now you’re telling me I can’t have a baby?”
“Let’s all calm down,” Marta says gently.
“You’re not even seeing anyone. How are you even thinking about a damn baby? What is wrong with you?”
“What is wrong with me?!” My emotions that I’ve kept deep inside for so long finally explode from me. “You know I’ve been in love with Cane my whole life. You also know your accident wasn’t all on him.”
“It was his damn horse,” he shouts back at me. Unable to see past his own pain because mine doesn’t matter.
“You weren’t the only one that lost something that day. You took me right with you. I should be happy. Excited, but all I feel is dread. I’ve wanted this for so long. For Cane and me to be in love. To have my own family but you won’t let me. I even want you to be a part of it, but you want me to sit in this house and be miserable with you. I just can’t!”
Tears stream down my face. I don’t wait for him to respond. I don’t want to hear it. I've got to get the hell out of here.
CHAPTER 19
CANE
“So I had this strange call a little bit ago.” Scooter sets a box of cookies between us and two mugs of vanilla coffee.
I flip open the package and dunk one in my coffee. “The person wanted to buy a cow?” I guess. “You want to know how much to charge?”
“You’re not entirely off base, but exchange a cow for a wife, and you’ll figure it out.”
“Someone wants to sell you Astor?” It takes a minute but then, “Her dad?”
Scooter shrugs. “Crazy old coot called and said I could take her off his hands. That she’s talking about wanting a baby and getting married. That I could be that man if I liked since she spent so much time with me anyway, I must not be half bad.”
I drop the cookie in the coffee and get up.
“Not even finishing your coffee?” Scooter calls after me. The well-mannered thing to do would be at least to carry the mug to the sink, but I’m not in the mood for any of that.