But I wasn’t a good man, and I had no business staying close to her. No matter how keenly I craved to hold her.
Especially when a small tremor raced through her delicate body: emotional aftermath from the intense confrontation with her bully.
I ground my teeth, and my fists clenched with the need to beat him some more. If she hadn’t been watching…
“I don’t want to get a restraining order,” she replied, distracting me from my mounting fury. Her small hand closed over my fist. A ripple of heat raced up my arm to warm my chest. Fuck, it felt so good when she touched me like this. Her gentleness soothed the dark impulses that threatened to overtake my mind and drive me to violence and pain.
Her shoulders straightened, and her chin lifted with something between determination and defiance. “If I go to the cops, you might be implicated in this whole mess with Gavin. I can’t risk that happening.”
My lip curled, instinct urging me to push her away, to avoid the pain of her revulsion. “Because your father would find out you’re associating with a Ferrara.” I tried to wrench my fist free from her slender fingers, but she firmed her grip. I was strong enough that I should’ve been able to easily pull away, but she shackled me in her weaker hold.
“No,” she countered steadily, her gemstone eyes sparking. “Because you might get into trouble for beating up Gavin. His dad is rich and influential. You could go to jail if he found out that you broke his golden boy’s face.”
I knew all too well how influential Kelvin McCrae was; he’d managed to cover up the fact that my family had murdered Allie’s mom, and he’d concealed the fact that Ron Fitzgerald had started the fire that consumed all the evidence. It’d all been in the original autopsy and arson report I’d found on his private server when I’d broken into his house and forced him to spill his secrets.
The cops couldn’t protect Allie from Gavin McCrae. If she did try to get a restraining order, his Daddy would make it go away.
No one could protect her like I did. I could do all the dark, necessary things to keep her safe. I’d kill Gavin if I had to.
Her small hand cupped my cheek, her fingers resting directly on my scar. A shudder rolled through my body at the tender contact with the ugliest part of me, but I couldn’t stop myself from leaning into her touch.
“Hey,” she said softly, calling me back to her and out of my spiraling rage once again. She grounded me like no one else could ever manage. “What are you thinking? Are you angry with me?”
“No,” I promised. “I’m angry at Gavin. I’m angry that his father is powerful enough to protect him when he should pay the price for hurting you.” Before I could think better of it, I trailed my fingers through her copper hair, relishing the silky glide beneath my rough callouses. “I’ll keep you safe, Allie,” I said with the weight of an oath.
“I know,” she breathed, her eyes wide and guileless. She trusted me.
Fuck, I wanted her to trust me. I wanted her to need me as desperately as I needed her.
In that moment, I settled into my rash decision: I would stay close to her and protect her, no matter what my family had threatened. I would keep her safe from all of her enemies—Gavin, my own family, the Bratva. And especially that motherfucker, Nikolai Ivanov.
“Will you come in?” she asked softly, as though fearing my answer. She didn’t want me to reject her any more than I wanted her to push me away. I couldn’t bear it, and beyond all reason, it seemed that she couldn’t stand to be separated from me either.
I nodded, my throat too tight to manage any words. I scarcely dared to breathe in case something I said or did might make her come to her senses and change her mind.
Her hand dropped from my face, and I instantly missed the gentle warmth against my cheek, her unflinching contact with my repulsive scar. But her small hand firmed around mine, her fingers lacing through my clenched fist to ease the lingering violent tension from my muscles. She led me into her house, and I followed as though we were inextricably tethered together. Her intense hold over me should’ve been alarming, but I was too far gone in my obsession to care. This strange weakness when it came to Allie was countered by the strength that I found in protecting her. The high was far better than any drug I’d ever tried, back in the days before my father had punished me so severely that I’d had some sense of responsibility burned into me.