Beautifully Hurt (Beautifully Broken)

There’s a moment’s silence before I admit, “I don’t want to burden Eli.”

“You won't burden him, Quinn. Sharing your pain with the person you love is never a burden. That’s what a relationship is, sharing the good and the bad.” Her eyes find mine as she asks, “You’d want Eli to talk to you if he was having a hard time, right?”

I nod, and then silence falls between us, and I think over everything Nina’s said.

After a long while, I ask, “How did you get to be so smart?”

She laughs. “I married Alex.”

Hearing that makes me chuckle.

After another couple of minutes, I whisper, “Does it ever get better?”

Nina swallows hard, sorrow shadowing her features. “I lost my parents when I was eighteen. They were killed.”

I didn’t expect to hear those words from her, and they shudder through me.

She takes a deep breath before she continues, “My father and uncle got involved with some terrible people. After my parents were killed, I was forced to run from South Africa. I came here, and I managed to hide for seven years before they found me.” She pauses for a moment, her chin quivering. Somehow she manages to swallow the emotion down. “I blamed myself back then.”

My eyes are glued to her face, my heart breaking for her as she tells me about her past.

A wounded look pulls tightly at her features, and for the first time, I see all the pain she keeps buried inside of her as she lets it resurface.

I scoot closer to her and lifting my arm, I wrap it around her back.

“I was kept in a container for four days and beaten until… I begged for death.”

Dear, God.

“The fourth day was the worst.” Her face tightens with pain. “They raped me.”

I gasp with shock and can’t keep the tears as they come. “I’m so sorry, Nina,” I whisper, my own pain forgotten for a moment as compassion for Nina fills me.

“Alex found me the next day and saved me,” she murmurs. “I wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for him.”

Her confession makes me see Alex in a whole new light. He doesn’t seem as scary anymore, but rather a strong force… strong enough to save Nina.

“Your pain is as real as mine, Quinn. We all deal differently. No experience is the same for any two people. But, I won’t lie, the months afterward were a living nightmare. I couldn’t handle being around people. It took weeks before I felt semi-comfortable with Alex.”

I rub my hand up and down her back, whispering, “You’re so strong.”

“It never goes away,” she admits. “I just learned to live with it.” She turns her eyes back to me. “But I can’t remember their faces. The memories are like faded stains now. The sharp edge of pain has been dulled over the years, and it will be the same for you.”

I nod, believing her.

Nina turns her gaze back to the ocean. “For a long time afterward, I still gave them the power to hurt me. Whether they were somewhere out there or ten feet under the ground didn’t make the pain any less. Only when I saw the beauty that came from it all did I realize I had to take back control of my own life.”

“What beauty can ever come from something so horrible?” I ask.

“Alex. Eli. Ethan.” She smiles, and the pain retreats back to the depths she pulled it from. “I had to go through hell to find my heaven.”

Unable to stop myself, I hug her tightly. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

She pulls back and looks at me. “I wasn’t strong back then, Quinn. I only made it because I let Alex in. I had to learn to trust him. I had to make a choice whether I was going to run forever or stay and fight to be with him.”

It hits me why she shared her story with me. If I want to remain in a relationship with Eli, I’ll have to open up to him.

I nod, and taking a deep breath, I whisper, “I understand.” Staring at Nina, I hope I can be as strong as her. “Thank you so much for sharing your story with me.”

She smiles and brushes some of my hair back. “I’ll always be here to talk, Quinn. When things get bad, and they will, just remember one thing for me.”

“What?”

“People will come into your life, and they will hurt you. It’s up to you whether you’re going to give them the power to destroy the rest of your life. Are you going to let them win, or are you going to fight back and reclaim your life?”

Her words feel freeing. I grab her to me and hug her tightly as I say, “I’m going to fight back and reclaim my life.”

“That’s what I was hoping to hear,” she chuckles as she holds me.