It was a big deal, though. To me. A phone seemed so silly in the grand scheme of things, but a phone meant freedom to someone who hadn’t had her own one in years.
“Thank you,” I said, pressing the phone box to my chest.
“You’ll give her all our numbers, yeah?” Vi asked, slipping her jacket back on.
“Of course.”
“We have plans for her when she’s allowed out of hiding,” Layna added.
“I’m happy to hear it,” Cary said, nodding.
“If you need us so you can do some shit with the club,” Hope started, “you know you can call us.”
“I appreciate it,” Cary said, giving her a nod.
Within minutes, all the goodbyes were said, and we were alone again.
“That was fun,” I admitted. “I really like them.”
“They’re hard not to like,” he agreed. “And that’s only three of them. Wait until they drag you out with all the rest.”
“It sounds overwhelming. In the best way. How did everything go with church?” I asked, tripping over the word that had always had a very different meaning to me.
“Good. I lucked out. Brooks didn’t put me on the schedule much, so I have time to help with painting and furniture putting-together-ing. And to start moving forward on a possible plan to handle the situation.”
“You have a plan?” I asked, stomach immediately tensing.
It got easier as the days went on to sort of almost forget about that part. I mean, not entirely. Of course it was always there in my mind. But I could focus past it enough that it felt almost “far away” instead of a very real part of my present reality.
“A possible one,” Cary said. “One of my brothers suggested I get in contact with a guy named Andres. He’s somewhat new to the area, but has been friendly in the past. He’s in a cartel. Niro thought I might be able to, if nothing else, get some information out of him.”
“That wouldn’t be, you know, more dangerous?” I asked. “To give a cartel member information?”
“I would never put you in danger, love. I wasn’t even going to mention the details of why I need to take out Raúl, just that it needs done.”
“Oh, okay,” I said, still not convinced.
“That’s the reason for this,” Cary said, grabbing the bag from the pet store. “A has a shitton of dogs that he loves like his children. Figure a little bribe never hurt in a situation like this. Hey,” he said, reading the tension in my face.
Dropping the bag, he reached out to frame one side of my face. “I promise you that I am going to do everything I can to make sure there is no way A is going to connect you to this. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I don’t know if it was the apartment, the girls encouraging me to “get it,” the night before of unmet need, our long, intense history, or a combination of all of that.
But whatever it was had me reaching out toward him, grabbing the wrist of his arm hanging at his side, and pulling him closer.
My gaze slid to his, watching as confusion turned into understanding when his chest met my own.
“Abs, that’s not… I’m not doing any of this because I expect anything,” he said, shaking his head.
It was clearly just him giving me an out if I thought I had to “pay him back” for his kindness. But to me, who’d never had a lot of experience with men, and who had certainly never started to initiate something with one before, it felt a whole lot like rejection.
“It’s fine,” I said, wrenching away, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks and a strange, swirling discomfort spread across my stomach.
“Hey, Abs,” he tried again, his hand started to brush my shoulder, but I shrugged it away, circling back away from him.
“Let’s get back to the hotel,” I said, voice tight.
I didn’t give him a chance to respond. Because I charged right down that staircase and onto the street, leaving him to follow behind.
I took the laptop and treat bags from him, looping them around my arm, then waiting for him to climb on before I did as well. But this time, I didn’t wrap my arms around him. I didn’t rest my head on his back. I barely even touched him, holding my body as far back as possible, using my thighs to hold me in place, then just grabbing a couple handfuls of his leather cut for extra stability.
I could have sworn he let out a deep sigh before turning the bike over, but pretty soon the grumbling of the machine drowned anything out.
And we were off.
I was getting used to the bike. Was it my favorite thing ever? No. It was better when I got to hold onto Cary. But those days were behind us. I had to put some space between us. I was getting things mixed up in my head. Clearly, confusing his kindness for interest.