“I know,” I whispered. “Am I becoming like them?”
“Like the people who hurt you?”
I nodded. Fear trickling into my voice. “Like Katherine and Lewis and Penn and all the other people in New York.”
“Maybe they’re bringing out the fighter in you. Michael had it coming after all.”
“He did,” I agreed easily. “But did I have to make him crawl like a worm?”
“Personally, I enjoyed it.” She sank into the seat next to me and nudged me with her shoulder. “Just remember that you have something none of those Upper East Siders were born with.”
“What’s that?”
“A moral code. You know when right is right and wrong is wrong. You’ll know if you go overboard. You can pull yourself back. And anyway, I think Penn likes you too much to see you become a bad person.”
I sighed. I didn’t know how to say that I’d thrown out my moral code after Katherine and Lewis ruined my life. She knew what I’d planned for them, but she didn’t know what lengths I planned to go. What I’d do to make them pay. Maybe…maybe I didn’t even know. Maybe I’d find out and pull back, just like Amy had said. Maybe, in the end, it wouldn’t be worth it.
But as I stared that future in the face, I couldn’t imagine stopping. And I didn’t know what scared me more.
Chapter 23
Natalie
The rest of the party had gone off without a hitch. Melanie had been preoccupied with her friends, and Penn had been suspiciously quiet. So, I never got to talk to either of them about what had happened.
I awoke the next morning with a sinking pit in my stomach. I needed to talk to Melanie. Sure, Michael had had it coming for being a dick. But I had promised Mel that I wouldn’t say anything. The last thing I wanted was for her to be mad at me since I was sure Michael wouldn’t give the full story.
After throwing on a pair of sweats and an old Grimke University T-shirt I’d found in one of my drawers, I headed down the stairs, hoping to find Mel alone. She was lying out on the couch with the blankets pulled up to her chin. Her normally perfectly straight brown hair was pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head. She didn’t have on a lick of makeup. And she was the prettiest I’d ever seen her.
“Nat,” she grumbled. “You’re up early.”
“So are you.”
She yawned dramatically. “Dad left for work at the crack of dawn, and I couldn’t go back to sleep. Mom made me some tea before heading to the shop.”
“Did she read for you out of it, too?” I asked, sinking into the armchair.
“Thankfully, no.”
“Lucky.”
She yawned again. “Are you up for good? Maybe I could snag your room.”
“Sure. I just wanted to talk to you a minute about last night.”
Melanie’s smile brightened. “Oh, good! I wanted to talk to you, too. I wanted to thank you for being so nice to Michael. I know how you feel about him, and it meant a lot to see you two get along.”
“It…did?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah. You were the highlight of the party. Such a hit with all of my friends. I mean, honestly, how do you even have sixty thousand connections?”
I shrugged. “I really don’t know.”
“Well, it’s so cool! And everyone agrees.”
“And Michael didn’t say anything else to you?” I couldn’t help asking.
“About what?”
“What he thought of the party?”
“Sure. He said he had a great time. I know he was so glad that you and Penn could make it.”
I stared at my sister. Was I in some alternate universe? I’d been sure that Michael would run straight to Melanie and whine about how I’d treated him. It was almost too good to be true that Melanie hadn’t even noticed our confrontation. That she had been so caught up in her friends that she missed the whole thing.
Then my stomach twisted further as realization hit me. No, of course, Michael hadn’t gone to Melanie. I’d put him in his place. Just like Katherine had done with so many people all over the Upper East Side. Like she had done with me. She was the reigning bitch queen, and no one ever stood up to her. No one would dare. And why was that? Because she had the power to make it worse. Far, far worse. And I had shown Michael the same thing. He’d seen that I was serious about wrecking his life if he tried to pull shit on me.
I stood from my seat in a hurry. Oh god. This was how Katherine got away with it. She put the fear of god in them, and then she walked away scot-free. Certain that no one would talk.
No wonder Melanie was oblivious. I had protected her the best way that I knew how. And it was terrifying.