“Oh yeah,” he muttered.
I met his gaze. “When were you going to tell me that you’d fucked all the lackeys?”
He snorted. “The lackeys? Is that what you’re calling them?”
“Isn’t that what they are?”
“Yes,” he agreed. “And…sorry. I mean, I didn’t know if you wanted to know who it was.”
“Was it all of them? All of the ones that you told me to invite?”
He shook his head. “Not…all of them.”
I groaned. “Just most of them.”
“Look, it’s not like I’m proud of it. They were the easiest way to piss off Katherine.”
“I know. I know. Aren’t I using them the same way?”
He arched an eyebrow. “I don’t know. Are you?”
“I don’t know them. And I need help and people to come to this charity event that I’m hosting. In some way, I’m using their connections to pull this off.”
“And to make Katherine mad?”
“It’s an added bonus,” I told him.
“And how did she feel about that? Pissed, like I’d guessed?”
“Yes,” I whispered. “Harmony booked us into her booth. I didn’t know it was hers. Katherine asked to have it back, and when I said no and refused to back down, she told me that Jane was the one who had told her about my pen name.”
Penn sucked in a breath, and his grip tightened on my shoulder. “Nat…”
“Yeah,” I said, holding back the tears again.
“I should have seen that coming.”
“You’ve never liked Jane.”
“No. It wasn’t really anything to do with Jane. It was the fact that she was dating my brother. Anyone who willingly puts up with him has to be bad news. I don’t really know Jane.”
“I thought I did,” I admitted. “I thought we were friends.”
“You were…are.”
“I don’t know, Penn. Maybe it’s normal to betray your friends on the Upper East Side, but that isn’t normal to me. When I found out, I flipped out, and I made her leave. She said that she did it to get the Percys.”
“For what?”
“She didn’t say, but I’m sure it’s to help with her club funding. When we first became friends when I came into the city, I know that she met Lewis through me and he gave her a contact to get some kind of backing to open.”
Penn ran his fingers back through my hair. “She’s business savvy. That’s for sure. I wonder how much Court has invested into that club.”
I shrugged. I hadn’t thought about that. “Is it stupid that I want to call her? That I want to clear things up between us and make things right?”
“No, Natalie, that’s not stupid. You’re a good person. That’s how you deal with situations like this.”
“I’m not,” I whispered. “I made her go, and I stayed so that Katherine wouldn’t see how upset I was.”
His finger moved to my chin, and he tilted my head up to look at him. “That doesn’t make you a bad person. And wanting to make up with your friend, no matter what they did to you, is human. When I found out about Lewis’s business dealings, I called him. Without a second thought. Despite all the bullshit we’d been through.”
“Yeah. But…I can’t call Jane.”
“Probably not right now. Not while you’re a little drunk and worked up about it.”
“Ugh,” I groaned, burying my head into the pillow. “I just remembered that we’re having the charity event at Trinity.”
“So? Jane is a professional. She won’t miss the chance to have your event there even if you’re on the outs. She’ll probably see it as an opportunity to make up.”
I gritted my teeth and then propped myself up on my elbow to look at him. “What if I’m not ready for that?”
“You’ll know when you are.”
“How do you know?”
He sighed and pressed a soft kiss on my lips. The sleep was wiped from his face, and he looked oddly serious. “I understand the bounds of friendship. And what splits you up and what can keep you together.”
I frowned at the phrasing of that. I knew that he had been through a lot with the crew and that was why they were so tight despite the horrors they’d inflicted on each other and others outside of their circle. But it felt like he was saying more.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“What Jane did was wrong. She knows it was wrong. It’s up to you two to determine whether that ends or strengthens your friendship.” He paused, as if uncertain about what he was going to say next. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while. I keep making excuses for it. For not telling you. But I think…I think I should.”
“You’re kind of freaking me out,” I admitted.
“It’s nothing about us,” he insisted. “It’s a part of my past that no one knows. Only the people who were there.”
“The crew?” I guessed.
“Yes. Me, Katherine, Lewis, Lark, Rowe, and Addie, at the time. And a girl we knew, Hanna Stratton.”