“Promise me something.” I waited for them to look at me. “I’ve spent a lot of time in my head, trying to figure out what to say to you, how to make it better after—”
“Evie.” Jesse growled, his expression stony.
Beside me, Roark and Michio stiffened.
“Just listen. When I die, promise me that when other women—”
“We’re not talking about this.” Roark slid off the bed, stark nude, and strode toward the door.
“We have to talk about it.” I crawled to my knees, facing him. “For my peace of mind. Please!”
Roark stopped and shoved his hand through his hair, seemingly trying to rein in his emotions. “You’re going to live. That’s all there is to it.”
My chest tightened.
Warm hands slid around my hips and pulled me back. When I turned, Michio stroked a finger down my cheek, the desolate look in his brown eyes squeezing my lungs.
His lips compressed, as if holding back something, then parted with a shuddering breath. “I’m trying to fix this. I’m trying…I just…I don’t know what’s broken.”
He’d spent months in the lab, studying my blood work and DNA. So many tests, and they all came back healthy. I was healthy.
My eyes burned as I cupped his face and rested my forehead against his. “There’s nothing to fix. This is supposed to happen.”
“Bullshit.” Jesse rose to his knees on the mattress, hands clenched at his sides. “We’re going to defeat this.”
“How? You can’t fight it with an arrow or a sword. You can’t tie a rope around me and pull me away from it.” My voice rose, shaky and thick with sudden tears. “It’s coming, this…this…whatever this is that decides what will happen. It’s conspicuous and ugly and inescapable, and dammit, I don’t want it to take you with me.”
I couldn’t leave knowing they would become so lost in grief that they couldn’t find their way back.
Silence blanketed the room. The sound of misery.
A hot trail of tears dripped down my cheek, and I swiped at it, staining my fingers in red. Ugh. I couldn’t even cry like normal people. I went a lifetime without crying, and now this? Blubbering all the time and making a damned mess.
No more tears. I refused to let a single drop of negative energy steal what time I had left.
“I just want you to be happy.” I drew in a calming breath. “Maybe I should leave a letter like Joel did. His words strengthened me through some dark and lonely times.”
“We won’t be alone.” Roark returned to the bed and wrapped his body around my back. “And we den’ want a letter.”
“We want you.” Michio pulled his gaze from me, shared a look with the others, and returned to my face. “We have you here and would rather hear it now…” His jaw tightened, and he looked away.
Jesse gripped the back of Michio’s neck with a firm squeeze. His earlier tension loosened from his muscles, his eyes lidded with a wretched kind of resolve. “We’ll listen. What do you want us to promise?”
I slid out of Roark’s embrace so that I could see all of their faces. We sat in a tight circle on the bed, leaning toward the center, toward each other, our breaths mingling and our bond coursing like a current of energy around us.
As I moved my hands to my belly, they followed suit, their fingers curling around mine as I spoke. “Promise me you won’t struggle alone. Whether you find another woman or several women, remain as open to love as you are in this moment. But don’t let her or them rip apart the bond you’ve created between you. Schartzmugel needs her fathers together and united.”
“Bloody hell, love.” Roark hooked his arm around my back and pulled me against his side. “Before we met ye, we were resigned to be single and lonely.”
Michio gripped my hand, head down and gaze on the bedding. “But we didn’t just find you.” He lifted his eyes and looked at Jesse and Roark.
They’d found each other. Closeness and trust that could only be shared between brothers, best friends, lovers. My heart beat slow and steady through my veins, comforted, content.
“We promise we won’t be alone.” Jesse’s eyes were hard with conviction, his voice rough with emotion. “These guys are hard to get rid of.”
“Yeah, they are.” I smiled with trembling lips. “I have one more request.”
Every moment I’d spent with them over the years had been a gift. Jesse’s angry glares when I first met him in the mountains, Roark’s flirting and frustrating celibacy in the bunker, my captivity on Malta under Michio’s constant care, all of those interactions were gifts. No matter what we were doing, I cherished every second of their company. And now those seconds were slipping free from my grip. It made me greedy, desperate, for more of their time.