Check-in at the airport went smoothly, since she was about five hours early. Nobody stopped her through security, and the longer she waited in front of gate B27, the more convinced she became that her disappearance from Parsabad would likely not even register with Omar.
She’d been a blip, when she’d thought it was a boom.
After one excruciatingly long direct flight to New York City, Marian stumbled through the JFK airport like a zombie, unsure if it was very early Parsian time or super-late NYC time. She wobbled as she went through customs, the week and a half away from home feeling more like a full month. The vowels and consonants of her fellow Americans rang strangely between her ears. She rolled her luggage glumly through the baggage claim and picked up the first taxi she could. Home sweet home.
The low point came when she got back to her studio apartment in Brooklyn. Just before pushing open the door, she stilled herself, wondering if maybe Omar was waiting for her on the other side. How would that even be possible? She pushed it open, finding a dark, stale apartment waiting for her. No Omar. Not even junk mail under the door.
Was she that desperate to hear from him? Not even a peep since she’d left his office the afternoon before. And now, halfway across the world, even yesterday in Parsabad felt like a distant fantasy. One that she was unable to even fathom from within the confines of Brooklyn.
Marian quickly fell asleep, back in her own bed. Strange dreams plagued her, but when she awoke around nine the next morning, she felt refreshed and ready to tackle the day. Back in the swing of things in New York. Exactly like before. Pre-Omar.
She shuddered. There’d be none of those thoughts now that she was back. She needed to banish him from her mind. Even though part of her wilted on the inside at the concept. They’d been so good together. And he’d been so sweet. How had things ended this way? Why had he done that to her?
The confusion irritated her almost as much as the lack of caffeine. She called Layla for an impromptu welcome-home coffee date on her self-declared transition day. She needed a day to decompress, buy groceries, and take excessive naps before heading back to the office the next morning. They met at their favorite spot in Brooklyn, just ten minutes from Marian’s building.
“It’s so good to see you!” Layla wrapped her in a tight hug, her sparkling strawberry blonde hair smelling of flowers, as always. Marian sighed into her friend’s embrace, grateful for the familiar contact.
“God, it’s good to be back.” Marian collapsed into a wrought iron chair on the back patio of the coffee shop, thankful for the bright sun and light breeze. A waitress came for their order and they got what they always did—two red eye coffees.
“So tell me. How did the deal go?”
Marian leveled her with a look. “It went. But not so well, for me.”
“Oh no.” Concern creased Layla’s face. “What happened?”
Marian gave her the CliffsNotes version of how Omar had sealed the deal without her, making her own boss think she’d had little to do with the success.
“That doesn’t make sense,” Layla said. “You two were so good together. You worked so well, I thought.”
“Yeah, I thought so too.” Marian scoffed. “He hasn’t even called or anything since I left, so I guess that’s my answer. It was just a fling for business purposes.” She scoffed. “And the worst part is, I really thought we had…something between us. You know? Like, I felt that spark. And I thought he did too.”
Layla frowned as the waitress set down their coffees, her eyes on the table. “Some guys just aren’t…ready, I guess.”
“Yeah, and he was the least ready of all.” Marian shook her head, stirring a spoonful of sugar into her mug. “I should have known from the start that I could never compete with his dead wife.”
Layla grimaced. “Was it that bad?”
“Jesus, it was practically a chastity belt!” She paused, sipping at her coffee. “That’s a lie. If he tried to be chaste, he failed. Miserably. We couldn’t stop having sex.”
Layla squeezed her arm. “Was it at least good?”
“Ugh. The best.” Marian crumpled into her seat, memories flooding her. “That’s the thing. Everything seemed so good. Like, within three days, I was already thinking about a future with this man.”
Layla widened her eyes. “Wow.”
“Yeah. Except, not wow. Major letdown, in fact.” Marian sighed tersely, the cup of coffee steaming in front of her lips. “I dunno. I’ll get over it. Or maybe I won’t.”
Layla pouted. “Honey, you will. I promise you. You’re made of steel. You’ll bounce back.”
“Maybe I’m tired of bouncing back.” She took a contemplative sip of her coffee, sullenness making her limbs heavy. “Maybe I just want to not fall over and over again and have no one there to pick me up but myself.”
“But you’re stronger for it, honey.”
“I dunno.” Marian felt a dark cloud overcoming her. “Because now, at work, I’ll have to work even harder to prove to my boss that I even do anything. He thinks I just took notes and kept everyone on track, but I carried a solid half of the deal. All I can do is go back to work and keep hoping for another opportunity to arise. But if I stay there, I might run into Omar again. And how horrible would that be? It might be better if I just quit.”
Layla let out a low breath. “Wow. You sure about all that?”
“No. But that’s how it’s looking right now.”