“Maybe we should go downstairs?” Kristy asked softly. At his curt nod, they made their way silently downstairs and she stopped short when she saw his bag by the door.
“You’re leaving,” she whispered.
“I am. I’m not happy about it, but I think it would be best if I weren’t around you right now. In the meantime, we’ll set up a schedule for visitation. I will be in her life, Kristy. I’ll donate enough money to the farm to keep it up and running, and of course, I’ll take care of anything that you and Arella need.”
“Kashif, please,” she said hoarsely. “Can’t we talk about this?”
“There’s nothing to talk about. You hid my daughter from me. I can see why you’ve kept quiet for all these years, but that should have changed when I arrived.”
“I needed to know you wouldn’t take her away. And then, I wanted to, I really did, but things were moving so quickly and it was such a risk.” She fought to keep the sob away but her voice cracked as she talked.
“I explained what happened. I care for you, but I won’t be with a woman who not only doesn’t trust me but has lied to me.”
“Kashif, you can’t leave…” she started.
“I told you. There’s nothing else to discuss,” he snarled.
“That’s not what I mean. The airports are closed because of the snow storm. I doubt they’ll open back up until the weekend. I’m sure Henry can take you into town if you want to stay somewhere else.”
“Fine,” he said abruptly. “I’ll spend the day with Arella and find some other place to go tonight.” He stalked away before she could respond.
Turning away so he wouldn’t see her tears, she whispered to the room, “I’m sorry. So, so, very sorry.”
Most of her help hadn’t shown up for work that morning, so she and Henry managed the best they could. After getting the horses’ stalls mucked out, the animals fed, and the dogs exercised, she finally stumbled back inside and collapsed in the chair by the fire.
Dimly, she heard Kashif’s low docile tones and Arella’s high pitched squeals of delight. Too tired to fight her own desires, she closed her eyes and thought about what would happen if she had done things differently.
18
Paradise Frost Ranch had none of the charm of Mistywood. Sure, it was far more efficient and much more luxurious, but Kashif was empty when he checked into his new room.
He missed the warmth of Julia and Henry and the excitement of Arella.
His daughter. It was hard to wrap his head around. For the past three years, he’d been a father and not even known it.
He could see himself in her. She had his love for life and excitement. He could only imagine how much of a handful she must be with Kristy alone. No doubt she’d been responsible for more than a few grey hairs; at least on Julia.
Thinking of Kristy increased the ache in his heart. Most of all, he missed her. He missed the way the bed smelled after she was in it. He missed the scowl on her face when he’d suggested something that she didn’t like. He missed the adoration in her eyes when she looked at Arella, and he missed the look on her face when he wrapped his arms around her.
Too riled up to sleep, he pulled out his phone to call his father when he saw that he’d missed a call from Jarik. Leaning back on the bed, he pressed play.
“Hey brother, I’m sorry that I missed you. I know you don’t love that I’m at Kivi’s trial, but that’s not why I called. I had an interesting talk with Samir. He seemed to think there might be something wrong with father. I’m not sure if you know what’s going on, but if you do, give me a call.” There was a slight pause. “I know we don’t always get along, but I hope you’re safe.”
Letting the phone drop from his ear, he closed his eyes. Listening to his brother’s voice dredged up some unwanted guilt. How could he lecture Kristy on family when he wasn’t even sure what the word meant anymore? He couldn’t even remember the last time he and both of his brothers were under the same roof. Jarik had responsibilities, but he spent more time traveling and doing ambassador work. He and Kashif might see each other a few days out of the month, and he saw Samir even less.
After what Melka pulled, Kristy was alone with a newborn. She protected her child as best she could, and it was no wonder that she didn’t say anything to him about it. Trust wasn’t easy for her, and she loved Arella more than anything.
As she should. That’s what made her a good mother.
Here he was, ready to walk away from her again. What kind of man did that make him? What kind of father?
He wished there was someone that he could talk to, but he hadn’t confided in anyone in a long time. Kashif was on his own, and for the first in a long time, he felt completely alone.
Kristy sat on the edge of Arella?
??s bed and gently stroked her daughter’s hair. The toddler stared at her in earnest while she waited for her mother to answer her question.
Where has Daddy been?