“I thought the point was that she was going to leave you,” Fatim said.
“That too,” Nasser said, but he could feel his defenses crumbling. Speaking all of this out loud was helping him see how ridiculous it all was. But he wasn’t ready to stop fighting quite yet.
“You know what I think?” Amad said, clapping his palms against the table top. “Whatever you think you’re going to be missing by ignoring your family or acting like you don’t have a baby on the way? Trust me—it’s nothing. You won’t even remember your single life. With a hot mama like Willow and a sweet baby on the way, you’re about to be the luckiest man on earth. Well, second luckiest. After me.”
Amad’s words struck a chord in Nasser. He ran a thumb over his knuckles as he thought.
“And I think Willow is perfect for you,” Fatim added. “She’s the only one who’s ever been able to help you shine. I know you hate the calendar idea, but what does it really matter at the end of it all? This is her love language. You just can’t speak it yet.”
The rest of their meeting was mostly a formality, and Nasser dipped out as soon as he could. Back in his bedroom, which was totally empty of all signs of Willow, he paced the far wall. In his worst moments of despair, he could catch a whiff of her perfume. It was still on the pillowcase, which he inhaled for an embarrassingly long time each night before bed.
God, he wanted her. He did. So why was it so hard to admit that?
Fatim’s words sizzled in the back of his head. This is her love language. You just can’t speak it yet. What the hell did that even mean? He’d been puzzling over it for what felt like hours. He snatched up his tablet and opened the calendar app, remembering what Amad had said about love notes.
He began swiping and
really looking at the contents of the calendar. He clicked on a few random days and saw how she’d broken down the notes for herself. Reminding her to take the pre-natal vitamins every day. Noting when the baby was another week older in her belly, each Monday. All of the midwife appointments marked with a pink heart. Nasser cracked a grin—was it because she thought they were having a girl? They were most certainly having a boy. He’d have to tell her that.
Except he couldn’t. Because he’d driven her away, and now the only thing remaining of Willow in his life was a string of scheduled appointments regarding the school and this shared calendar.
He was lucky she hadn’t blocked him from using it. He was curious now about everything in it. Nasser sank to the chaise longue, fisting the front of his hair as he read the contents of this calendar like it was a random novel he’d picked up and fallen in love with.
Starting at the month prior, he scanned each day’s entries. The majority of it really was for her. And the events she’d inputted on his behalf—like the contractor appointment and the curriculum suggestions worksheet—she’d gone back and added notes that he could reference, since he’d missed the deadline or not been kept abreast of the nursery plans.
And the nursery—that had a whole subnote in the calendar, which contained this message meant for Nasser:
Babe, I wanted to surprise you with a gift to celebrate the arrival of our little bundle of joy. It’s hard buying gifts for a man who needs nothing, so I’ve thought long and hard about what this could be. I thought that the best gift I could give you would be to make our lives easier once the baby arrives, and make a super-cool nursery that will be fully daddy-approved by you. The first appointment with the contractor is next Thursday, so start thinking about what you want to see there! We can modify things however you want (or do nothing at all if you hate this idea???? Please don’t hate it!). I’m pretty sure we need to have a baby jacuzzi, because clearly #bathinggoals. But also, sweet nanny cams (which can double as sexy cams if you insist…).
What do you think??
Love, Willow
Nasser had to put the tablet down after he read that. Emotion had his chest tighter than a rubber band and he was one babe away from snapping completely. Instead of seeing the sweet intent of the contractor appointment he’d stumbled on, he’d read it as her intent to dominate his life. He rubbed at his face, trying to quell the tears that threatened to spill.
He’d pushed Willow away like an asshole. Like the actual asshole he was.
God, he needed to make things right with her. And he needed to do it yesterday.
When he felt ready, Nasser picked up the tablet again and scrolled through more days. He read as much as he could. Desperate for this unique window into Willow’s life.
And dammit, his brother had been right.
It was a love language. One he was just starting to learn how to read.
He had to figure out how to make it up to her. How to convince her to come back and make this palace her permanent home. As it had been, until he’d lost his mind with past wounds and driven her away. He lay back on the chaise, his mind turning over different options. This situation was way beyond an opulent bouquet of roses or even a surprise choral performance where everyone simply sang “I love you”—both things he’d done to make up for his behavior in the past.
No, he needed something to really stand out. To show her that he was trying to be better. To do better. Especially now that he had a family to take care of.
He wrestled with ideas for hours, even opting to have dinner brought to his room so that he didn’t break his concentration. He referenced the calendar occasionally, but it wasn’t until he noticed the event in two days’ time—Visit Possible Apartment—that an idea started to click together.
A note accompanying the apartment visit, which was slated for one p.m., read: Sign for minimum year lease. If it is in budget and in the right part of town, get two-year lease. Can worry about proximity to Amatbahn school system once Babe is a little older.
Nasser’s throat tightened again. Willow had written this appointment only twenty minutes ago. Which meant they were using the calendar at the same time. His fingers tingled, as if he could feel her nearness. Even though that was absurd.
But more than current nearness, it signaled Willow’s desire to stay near. He tossed the tablet onto the seat next to him and rubbed at his face, feeling more exhausted than if he’d spent the entire evening in the gym sparring.
He needed to make things right.