Clint grabbed a soda from the fridge and faced her once more, holding his daughter in one arm while opening his can with the other. He kissed Ashley’s cheek and let her have the first sip of his soda before taking a huge gulp himself. “Well, if a scraped knee is the worst that happens to you, I’d say you’re a lucky kid. Did you know your daddy broke his arm once, falling out of a tree house?”
“Really?” Ashley’s eyes got big as saucers. “Did that hurt?”
“Oh yeah. It hurt a lot.” He grinned over at Tara, giving her another coy little wink that made her toes buzz and her nerve endings spark. “But I learned to be more careful. Sometimes it’s not fun getting hurt, but that pain can teach us something, if we look at it the right way.”
Ashley quieted, then said, “That’s true, Daddy. Can you put me down now so I can check our stats again?”
Laughing, Clint kissed her once more and put her down. “Six going on thirty-six, that one.”
Tara bit her lip as the little girl streaked past her and back into the living room. “I’m really sorry about the fall. I didn’t—”
He cut her off with a kiss, then leaned back and drank more soda. “Don’t be. She’s just fine and seems overjoyed to be the new Internet sensation with you, so it’s all good. And thank you for watching her today. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, heat rising in her cheeks. She felt bad now for being frustrated with him earlier. He could be so sweet sometimes, when he opened up and let her in. Eager to keep it going, she sidled past him to look in the fridge herself. “What should we have for dinner? There’s some steaks we can cook on the grill out back, or burgers, or—”
Clint wrapped an arm around her waist from behind, his warm back pressed to her a stark contrast to the cold of the fridge. “Whatever you want, baby. How about we cook together again as a family? That was fun.”
It was. She pulled out the steaks and set them on the counter. “Sounds great to me.” She turned and kissed him, all worries about her work or the bill or the future left behind, at least for a little while. “Hey, kiddo,” she called out to Ashley. “Want to help us get dinner ready?”
“Yes!” Ashley replied from the living room. “We’re up to 10K likes now too!”
Happiness blotted out her earlier doubts and Tara rose on tiptoe to kiss Clint again, then grinned. It might not be much, but tonight seemed pretty damned perfect to her. Maybe too perfect, but she’d worry about that later. For now, they had a meal to make.
18
Two more days passed and Tara’s warm fuzzy feelings from the family dinner they’d shared gradually faded back to a low-grade sense of dread. There wasn’t any one specific thing she could point to that was wrong in her life, she just knew that something was off, and it was bothering her more and more.
On the surface, things seemed to be moving along at a fast clip. Ashley was getting better and better at riding without her training wheels and the little girl was blossoming with helping Tara on her social media posts. Her teacher had even commented on how cheerful and happy she’d seemed lately at school. The board was still stonewalling her on publicly endorsing the bill again, but they had no say over what she did with her personal social media accounts, so she continued being as active as she could. Public sentiment still seemed to be in support of the law, though the numbers were closer than they’d been a few days earlier. The battle wasn’t over yet, but she remained hopeful about the outcome. As for Clint…
Well, he hadn’t been around much since their last family dinner together. Maybe that was what her anxiety was about, but Tara didn’t like thinking that way. She missed him, sure, but she didn’t need him around, did she? That would mean she’d started to depend on him, and that wasn’t an option. Falling for a man like Clint would just be absurd, right? Yes, he was handsome and smart and funny and caring. Yes, his daughter was adorable and had Tara fantasizing about having a kid of her own someday. But she’d known going into all this that it was temporary, and the last thing she wanted to be was a cliché. Woman loses heart to man she can never have. Gah.
Stupid, Tara. So, so stupid.
If only she could get out of here for a while, go work in her office again, that might shake loose the lurking anxiety at the back of her mind. She was going stir-crazy, that was all. She was used to being around people and going out into the world. Things would be better once she got her old life back.
Except as she sat in the living room, staring out at the overcast day, her old life seemed very far away. Especially with Ashley getting crankier by the hour since she hadn’t been able to show her dad the new biking skills she’d honed the past two days.
“Where’s Daddy?” the little girl whined, crossing her arms and giving Tara a pouting frown. “I want my dad.”
“I know, sweetie.” Tara set her laptop aside and joined Ashley on the floor, where she was building what looked like a spaceship out of Legos. “But your dad’s working right now.”
“You’re working too, but you’re here.”
Well, damn. Couldn’t argue there. Tara picked up a couple of blocks and snapped them together. Too bad everything in life didn’t fit so easily. “He’ll be home in a little while and you can sho
w him your riding then.”
“He doesn’t want to see it,” Ashley said, the sadness in her tone breaking Tara’s heart. “He’s always too busy.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Tara said, old pain pinching her heart. She’d been in the exact situation little Ashley was in now more times than she cared to admit, growing up. Her own parents’ work had kept them apart a lot of the time. Unfortunately, Tara hadn’t had anyone to really talk about it with, so she’d just internalized all that, figuring out how best to deal with it on her own. And sure, maybe it hadn’t done her any favors on the personal front, considering she was still single at twenty-seven without a happily ever after in sight, but hey. She was making a difference, right? That was what she’d really always wanted. To make a difference. To be relevant. To be a priority.
Isn’t it?
“Is too!” Ashley cried, her bottom lip quivering. “Daddy told me he’s too busy right now. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s going to leave me just like Mommy did.”
“Oh, sweetie. No!” Tara reached over to pull the little girl into her arms. “Your daddy’s not going anywhere, honey. And he does love you. So, so much. He’s just got a lot on his plate right now and sometimes grown-ups don’t always deal with stress the way they should. Sometimes—”
“Sometimes what?” Clint said, walking through the front door, looking about as harried as Tara felt at the moment. Things weren’t easy on any of them at the moment, she supposed. He tossed his keys aside and grabbed a soda out of the fridge in the kitchen. The white dress shirt he’d worn was a tad wrinkled now and the sleeves were rolled up. A button was undone and the collar and his tie were loosened and askew. Even rumpled, he was still the best looking man she’d ever seen close up. Tara swallowed hard, noting the shadows beneath his eyes and the tightness near his jaw. “What’s going on here? Sorry I’m late. Got caught up in something at work.”