Before his girls could disappear inside, he cut the engine and got out, waving from the curb before coming around the car and walking up to the house, trying to gauge her reaction with each step. It reminded him of the raids he did with his SEAL team, approaching an unknown situation where the risks were great, but so were the rewards—if they were successful.
“Daddy, hurry up!” Ashley yelled, waving him up to the porch. “We need to start planting.”
He stopped at the edge of the porch, afraid to cross the line until he was invited. He’d rehearsed a million different greetings, but what he ended up saying was, “Hey.”
Brilliant, dumbass.
“Hey,” Tara said, holding Ashley’s hand and looking at him with an unreadable expression. She wasn’t going to make this easy, but he’d never been a man to shy away from a challenge. They stood there staring at each other for a moment before she finally said, “Thank you for letting Ashley come over.”
“You’re welcome.” Clint resisted fidgeting and stuck his hands into the back pockets of the jeans he’d changed into after work, rocking back on the heels of his work boots. “Nice day, huh?”
“Yeah.”
So much for rocking her world with his eloquence. Ashley was frowning up at him like he was the hugest dork she’d ever encountered, and honestly, Clint felt the same.
Just say it already, dude.
He took a deep breath. “Look, about what happened the other day—”
“Why don’t you come inside?” Tara said, cutting him off and stepping aside to let him through the door. His heart thundered in his ears and his blood raced with adrenaline. If he didn’t get this out soon, he just might explode. If Tara sensed any of his inner turmoil, she didn’t show it. Instead, she let go of Ashley’s hand and closed the door behind him before leading them through to the kitchen with the patio doors leading out to the backyard. “Can I get either of you something to drink before we get started?”
“I want to see where the garden is going to be. I need to start planning what goes where.” Ashley bounced on the toes of her pink sneakers. “Please, can I see it?”
Tara glanced at Clint and he gave a curt nod.
“Okay,” she said, opening the sliding door for Ashley. “Be sure you stay in the yard, though. I’m thinking of putting things in over in that far corner, near the big oak tree. See what you think.”
Once the ball of energy that was his daughter was gone, an awkward silence fell. Tara was only a few feet away, but there could have been the Grand Canyon between them, for all the ground he needed to cover.
“So, about what I was saying earlier.” He took a step closer, carefully, like there might be landmines beneath her hardwood. “I just wanted you to know that I’m really sorry about how things ended. And I completely respect your choices, both professionally and personally. But you should know that if you ever did change your mind and decide that you might want to see us again, that would be all right too.”
She blinked at him a moment. “I am seeing you. Right now.”
“No. That’s not what I meant.” He raked a hand through his hair, frustrated with himself that he wasn’t getting this out the way he wanted to. This was exactly why he hated getting his emotions involved. Except with Tara, it seemed he was nothing but a whirling, raging ball of emotions now. It both thrilled and terrified him. He took another step closer, biting the bullet and just spitting it out, eloquence be damned. “I mean, I really enjoyed spending time with you, Tara. I loved getting to know you. I loved having you get to know me. I loved that you love my daughter. I loved that you played with her and involved her and didn’t try to change her at all. I loved having dinner with you and working with you and holding you at night after you fell asleep.” He moved closer still, coming around the island in her kitchen so they were close enough that he could hear her breath hitch. Close enough for him to smell her sweet floral perfume. Close enough that he could see her cheeks flush and her pupils dilate. “I loved every minute we spent together the past few weeks, Tara.” Say it. Say it. Say it. “I love you, Tara.”
At first she didn’t respond, didn’t move, didn’t do anything except watch him with that blank look on her beautiful face. Then her shoulders slumped and the corners of her mouth turned down and she started crying.
Oh God. Clint knew he was bad at this feelings stuff, but he’d never meant to make her cry.
“Shit.” He stepped back and held up his hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t… It wasn’t my intention to…”
“Don’t,” Tara said, her
tone firm. “Don’t you dare apologize for what you just said or I might have to punch you, Clint.”
Okay then. Confused, he gripped the edge of the counter to steady himself. “Sorry. I don’t—”
“Which part of ‘don’t apologize’ did you not understand?” she asked, hands on her hips now, her expression shifting to annoyed in two seconds flat. “Listen to me, Clinton Buckman. You are the most irritating, irrational, incredibly inscrutable man I’ve ever met. I never know where I stand with you and you make appallingly bad choices where your love life is concerned. You put up walls faster than I can tear them down and you shut me out way too much, thinking you have to handle everything on your own. But you love your daughter with all your heart. You’re strong and courageous and brave. You’re not afraid to run headfirst into danger to save those you care for and you look far more gorgeous than any man has a right to in yoga poses.” She took another step toward him, erasing the step he’d taken back. “I needed some time alone to figure out where I stood and what I wanted, and now I know.”
He waited, frozen, praying she’d say it was him.
“I want to help Ashley nurture her talents and her interests in the environment and climate change.”
Clint tried to be okay with the fact she hadn’t mentioned him at all, only his daughter. It was better than nothing. Ashley would love working with Tara. It would be great for her, even if he’d yearn for Tara until the day he died. He’d make it work. Maybe just drop his daughter off when the two of them met, keeping his distance. Still, his heart sank, and his chest squeezed tight.
She moved closer still and put her hand on his arm, her touch sending showers of sparks through his body. “And I’d like us to try again. You and me, as a couple. Dating. Sex. Everything. I love you too, Clint.”
His eyes flew to hers, shocked and stunned and seriously elated. “You do?”