On those nights, I know that there is no point trying to coax it out of him. When he is ready, if he ever will be, he will tell me what he wants me to know. All he needs is for me to be there with him, to tell him that I still love him no matter what, and that nothing about his past is ever going to change that.
And it never will. In the ten years that we were away from each other, I could tell that we had both changed, both of us shifting to become the adults that we needed to be. In some ways, I think it was a good thing that we had so much time to grow and change on our own terms. Sometimes, people who get together as kids can suffocate each other’s growth, sticking them down to the roots that they’re trying to break free of, but we escaped that, managed to find a way out that offered something far deeper and far more special for both of us. We met again as the people we needed to be, and I am so grateful for that sometimes I can hardly thank the universe enough for it.
And now, here I am, in Spain with him like he promised, married, just like he promised – and expecting our very first child on top of it all. I found out that I was pregnant barely a week or two after our wedding, a small affair that had been mostly organized by Liv back in Sweetheart, and now, nine months later, we are preparing to bring our little girl into the world.
I can hardly wait to meet her. It wasn’t until the day that I found out I was pregnant that I realized how badly I wanted to build a family with him. The two of us have lost so much when it comes to our own families, and it only feels right that we have been able to build another one, between us, together again. It’s everything that I ever wanted, everything that ever made me happy, the thought of the two of us starting our own family together.
And besides, he already feels like home to me. Even if we never had kids at all, I would still look at him and know that he is the one person who makes me feel like everything is going to be all right. His strength, his sureness, his confidence, the way he carries himself – he is everything that I ever wanted him to be, everything that I ever needed from him. And I know he is going to be just the same for the children that we have together. He’s going to be an amazing father. And I can hardly wait to see him hold our first-born in his arms.
He emerges from the house, out onto the balcony, with a plateful of tostadas and a smile on his face. He drops a kiss on the top of my head, and then one on my belly, his usual greeting for me since I became pregnant.
"You doing okay?" He fusses over me, and I nod.
"Just tired," I reply with a sigh. "But I’m all good."
"You look beautiful in that bikini," he remarks, sliding a hand down my thigh and brushing it over the string of my bikini. It is barely hanging onto my hip, and frankly, I put this on in the hopes that he might take it off me.
"I thought you just meant to bring me lunch," I giggle as he leans down to undo the string, planting a kiss on the crease of my hip and making me shiver.
"Well, I have to make sure you’re taken care of, right?" he remarks as he brushes his nose across my thigh and parts my legs with his hands. I let my head drape back on the lounger as he plants a kiss against my mound, and suddenly, all the discomfort that comes with being pregnant seems to fall out of my mind.
As soon as his lips press against my pussy, I let out a soft moan and feel the tension slip out of my body. He softens his tongue and strokes it against my clit, up and down, up and down, until I feel it swell under his tongue. I reach down to grip his head, to hold it in place, needing more, needing all that he can give me, and I push my hips back against his face as he slides his hands beneath my ass and pulls me onto him greedily.
"Mmm," I moan softly, and he tightens his grip on me and seals his lips around my clit, sucking hard and applying a light pressure as he rolls my swollen nub between his tongue. I am so oversensitized from the heat of the sun that I can already feel myself beginning to get close as he pleasures me, the intensity of his hungry mouth against me almost more than I can take. I am not sure if I am just going a little crazy with the pregnancy hormones, or if there is something else to it entirely, but there is a depth to our connection now that I have never felt before in all the time that we have been together. Every time he touches me, I feel like my body is on fire, lighting up to meet him, and the pleasure is beyond anything that I have felt before in my life...