I’m just me, Millie, once again, and the confidence I had on the side of the road has vanished.
Now it’s just me in my driveway, ready to go back to my studio apartment, which is empty and lonely.
Moxon clenches his jaw and I know I’ve upset him. “I just mean, this was a one-time thing, clearly that’s all you’re capable of doing anyway,” I tell him.
“Maybe I’m more than what you think.”
I exhale. “Moxon, I don’t want a relationship with a guy who sleeps with half the town. A guy who...”
“What?”
I shake my head.
He reaches for my hand, and I let him take it. “Just say what you’re thinking. You haven’t held back all night. Why start now?”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I say, looking up in his eyes. “But I just don’t want a guy who isn’t put together.”
He pulls his hand back and scoffs. “I have a fucking job, I’ve got a cat––”
“I know. You know what I mean though.”
“I don’t think I do,” he says.
“I don’t care that you’re a player. I mean it. That’s your life and I’m no one to judge. But Moxon, I’m not a player. I don’t do casual encounters. If I’m with someone, I want it to be the real deal. I want it to be forever.”
“So, you wanna get married? Is that it? You wanna settle down?”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not saying that. Not right now at least. I’m saying if I’m with someone, I want to be the only one. I want to be more than a booty call.”
“Good.” He smiles like he’s got me cornered. “Then let me be that man. I want to be that man.”
“Mox, we just met.”
“Aren’t you the one making a living from selling romance to people? Don’t you believe in love at first sight?”
I laugh. “This isn’t love at first sight. If anything, it’s love at first fuck.”
He grins. “So, you’re calling this love?”
I groan. “No. I just... Look, we both had fun tonight and--”
“That wasn’t just fun, Millie.”
“Oh, it’s Millie now?”
“It’s what you asked me to call you.”
I raise my eyebrows, my hand on my seatbelt buckle, ready to go. “After you ignored my request about twenty times.”
“Look, I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m not trying to present myself as anything other than what I am.”
“Me either.”
“I called you those names because I thought you liked it. Not to be an ass.”
“It doesn’t matter. The night is done.” I put my hand on the door to open it. “Thank you so much for picking me up and getting my car to the shop.”
Moxon nods, his face tight. I’m not the only one who seems to have changed since we left the parking lot. The easy-going man I’ve enjoyed for the last few hours, is long gone too. “You’ll need to give Malone Auto a call in the morning.”
“Right,” I say. “Of course.” I push open the door and step out. “Well, then, maybe I’ll see you at the shop?”
He shrugs, not meeting my eyes, hand already on the gear shift. “Maybe.”
I step out of the truck, feeling more alone than I ever have in my life. I want to apologize for clearly offending him, but before I can, he puts the truck in drive, signaling to me that whatever was on the table earlier is certainly off now.
And then, without another word, he is gone.
***
Once inside my apartment, I feed Clyde and then jump into the shower. All I can think about is that I wish I had done something differently.
Everything differently.
I don’t regret the truck sex. Moxon’s hands knew what they were doing, and my body had never been treated so well.
It’s not that. It’s the fact I clearly read him wrong. I must have. Right? He is a player though. There is no doubt about that. Yet, when I told him as much, he seemed offended. Hurt. Like the truth stung.
I dry off, thinking about how easy it was to be with him. He seemed to appreciate the woman I am. He leads with a smile that would make any woman weak in the knees, and beyond that, he is funny and charming and the complete package.
Except, of course, he’s the complete package for about a dozen different women who called him tonight.
I pull on my bathrobe and walk to the stove to put the tea kettle on. The stove is approximately six feet away from the shower. My place is tiny and I just adore it. I don’t live in a huge city, but it’s my hometown and I naturally returned after college. I never wanted to live in a metropolis like New York or LA, and this town fits me just fine.
So, here I am in North Amber, Oregon, a few hours south of Portland. It has a lovely art district and good restaurants and enough going on during the weekends that I can always find something fun to do, like walk around the farmer’s market or catch a movie at a theater that only shows classics.