“What are you thinking about?” Luca asks, tucking the knife back into his pocket.
I look up from underneath my dripping lashes. “You.”
The showerhead rains down, creating a curtain between us, but I can see his dark, scorching eyes right through the veil.
A hand drifts through.
Then another.
His clothes get soaked as he steps inside the shower with me, planting one hand against the wall while the other grabs my chin, forcing me to look up into his lustful, hungry eyes.
“You weren’t so eager to escape when I had you pinned to the wall like this back when I snuck into your room three years ago,” he says, and he leans in closer and closer until my breath falters. “Back when I gave you the best orgasm you could ever wish for.”
My entire body quivers from the memory alone.
“I know you remember,” he says. “And I know you’ve thought about it. About my fingers there, between your legs. The handle of my knife inside your pussy. My hands on your body, my tongue licking your skin.”
My lips shudder as his are so dangerously close to mine I can almost taste them.
“You know you liked it,” he murmurs.
I have to do something, say something. I have to stop this before he … kisses me.
Before he breaks me.
“Because you still had a sliver of humanity back then,” I reply. “But now? Nothing.”
He leans back, the look on his face turning darker and darker until nothing’s left of that lust I felt seconds ago. Something in his eyes has changed. Like he suddenly remembers how much he should hate me.
“I’m just another girl to you, another girl you can fuck, just like all the others before me. You never wanted me. You just crave what you can’t have,” I add. “But my heart will never be yours.”
A nail to the coffin as his eyes begin to twitch and his grip on my chin vanishes.
“You’re wrong,” he says through gritted teeth.
As violent as he barged into the room before, he pushes himself off the wall and marches out of the bathroom with soaked clothes, leaving me hot and naked underneath the pouring water.
God.
I was this close.
Chapter 14
Luca
* * *
After locking her in the room, I storm back to the living room. Nothing can quench the fire raging inside. With a loud roar, I thrust my fist into the statue of the naked woman I bought two years ago. A piece of her tit breaks off, but I don’t even fucking care.
The pain in my knuckles is sharp, but I bite through it. Pain is the only way I know how to deal with my anger, how we were taught to deal with it.
If I’ve known one thing for a very long time, it’s that my family’s way of dealing with emotions was anything but healthy.
But we don’t choose our family.
We only choose how we react.
And I reacted by bringing in as much distraction as I could. Cigarettes, liquor, drugs, possessions. Women.
Anything I could get my hands on, especially during my younger years.
Back when we both still lived with our parents, and Jill only saw glimpses of my life.
Glimpses of a guy addicted to the temporary buzz.
But that’s just the surface. She never saw what was underneath.
What truly lies hidden in this wretched, shriveled-up heart of mine.
Three years ago, age 18
* * *
“Is that the girl you texted?” Jill asks.
“Yeah, so?” I reply, taking the girl’s coat. I grab her hand and drag her with me. “C’mon, Gillian. Let’s go.”
“What?” Jill frowns as I pull her toward the stairs. “I thought you were supposed to—”
“You have Jasmine now. Entertain yourself,” I retort.
“You know what our parents—”
“I don’t care,” I interject, barking a little too harshly, which makes her sink into her seat. Still, I can’t get over the sour look on her face, and it pisses me off even more.
“You want to come lie in my bed too?” I ask, letting my tongue run along my lips.
Her eyes widen and twitch as she tries to hide her shame. “No, no, no. No, thank you.”
Entertain them. That’s what my parents told my brother and me when the Baas family came back to our home after our dinner party at a restaurant.
But when my brother went upstairs with Jasmine and left me alone with Jill, I should’ve known it would get too hot underneath my feet.
So I called Gillian over for a hookup. Big fucking deal.
Fuck Jill and that golden horse she rode in on.
Gillian runs up the stairs behind me, giggling loudly. The second we get to my room, I lock the door, and she’s immediately on me like my lips are made of honey. But her kisses are raw, harsh, like a girl desperate to swallow, and it’s making me want to shove her away.
“What the fuck was that for?” she snarls.