The conviction in his voice says he’s telling the truth, but still, it seems strange for him to say such a thing to me.
“Sorry, I’m a little paranoid sometimes. I wasn’t thinking that. I’m just… my life hasn’t been easy, and I’m leery of new people.” I shake my head to ward off the strange feelings. I’ve never felt such an intense pull toward someone, so maybe that’s what this is?
He reaches across the table. His hand cups my cheek, and sparks fly at the touch of his skin on mine. A soft gasp escapes my lips, and I peer into his eyes. “I understand what you mean, more than you’ll ever know. When I lost my mother…” His voice turns hard, and I can feel his pain. The anguish seeps from him like a sponge. “Just know you have nothing to worry about with me. I will always put you first, always…” There’s a finality to his words, and it confuses me. I feel closer to him, like he’s shared a tiny sliver of who he is with me.
“Every time our paths cross, I’m reminded of the risks I don’t take… I’m reminded of how safe I am. I don’t want to be safe,” I whisper the confession.
“Then don’t be.” He looks away for a moment, and the heat in his blue eyes burns me to the core. “I know you aren’t happy with him, whoever he is. I can see it. I’ve only known you a short time, but I can see the happiness and life draining from you.”
I look away. His words are like a slap to the face. I want to pull away, but he doesn’t let me. His other hand grabs mine, and I see the contrast in our hands, how different we look. His hands are calloused and rough, with dark tattoos on them. Mine are tiny and clean.
He’s different. This is wrong. But is it?
“I’m not saying this to upset you. I feel this intense pull toward you, Siân. I can’t explain it, but when I’m in the same room as you, I’m burning up. Do you feel it too?”
Oh, God. This is too much. He is too much.
Nevertheless, I cannot lie to him. His gaze is piercing, and even if I said no, I know he would know I was lying.
“I feel it. Deep. Burning me alive.”
I lick my lips, and I feel the need to nuzzle against his hand that’s still cradling my cheek.
“See, we’re the same,” he whispers, and my eyes dart to his full lips.
I want to kiss him so badly it’s almost consuming me. I dig my nails into the wood table to stop myself.
“I get the sense you’re afraid to live, to be free. Probably because the people around you always leave. I was like that when I lost my mother. I felt so alone, like the world was against me.”
“How…?” I fumble for the words to understand how he gets it, but that’s all that comes out.
He grins. “I don’t know how I know. I just get this sense about you. You’re going through life, making accomplishments. Congratulations on the grad school program, but even with your achievements, something is missing, isn’t it?”
Red flags go up in my mind, but I shove them away. He already said he wouldn’t hurt me, and I know it’s stupid, but I believe him.
“How do you know I’m a grad student?”
His gaze darkens. “I make a point to learn all the things possible about the person I’m interested in.”
“So, you are a stalker?” I grin.
“If you consider doing a little social media search, then sure, I’m a stalker.” He smiles once more, but the darkness in his eyes lingers.
I want to touch that darkness and wrap myself up inside it, even if it’s only once. This man is like a virus to me, eating up my resolve, leaving me vulnerable and cracked wide open. I should hate it, be terrified of it, and what it might mean, but I’m not.
I like it. I like the thrill he gives me, the heat that spreads through my veins from his presence, and the way he breaks down walls without permission. He makes me feel, makes me see past my biggest fears. He has the power to consume me, and the scariest part of all is that I want him to. I want him to swallow me and spit me back out.
I’m just about to say something when Kyla’s voice breaks through the radio silence in my brain. In an instant, Christian pulls away, leaving me cold where his hands touched me.
“Hello, am I interrupting something?” she questions, hands on her hips while she stands at the side of the table.
Christian’s gaze darts to her and then back to me. I feel him pulling away from me, and I don’t like it. A part of me wishes Kyla never showed up.