The holy cross. Yes. I’m on his bed.
Yawning, I tried to move my arm again and found I couldn’t turn.
How does he have me on here?
I remained on my back. I moved my feet. Ribbons tied around my ankles.
Damn it.
I assessed the rest of my body.
There’s bandages or something on me. But what am I wearing?
No clothing was on my arms or legs.
I only have on a shirt.
I pushed some of the furry blanket off me. It took several movements for the top of the blanket to flip over.
Still, I could barely make out what I was wearing in the moonlit darkness.
I’m trapped here.
A deep sense of depression poured over me too.
Clearly, it made sense why I would be sad. I was kidnapped. I’d been tortured, but. . .there was something different about this sensation.
It was like this dark mood unfolded in my chest and took me over.
I drowned in gloom and frustrated emotions. Cold reality washed over me. And I wasn’t clean, just dirtier. More stinking of toxicity.
Bloody moments flashed in my head.
Oh, God. What’s wrong with me?
Disgust gripped me.
Even if I was free, I wasn’t sure if I would have sat up. In fact, I was finding that I didn’t yearn to move at all. Pressure sank down my chest. Oxygen felt more like concrete spilling into my lungs.
I was shocked and numb.
I was helpless and hopeless.
Now, I’ll never be okay.
I had barely been okay before he grabbed me. Before he duct-taped my mouth and roped my wrists and ankles. I’d already been damaged, even though I never would have admitted that out loud.
Now, I’ll always be shattered. I’ll always be fucked up.
I had an orgasm while he tortured me. How sick was that? My stomach twisted in disgust, more because my body shuddered with desire from the memory of his mouth on my pussy.
God. No. Don’t think about it.
But the images rushed to my head, like this horror movie projecting in my mind.
Handcuffed and naked, I’d been his slave to pleasure.
I’d submitted to his knife and scalpel. I’d let him batter at my mind. I’d allowed him to seep into my soul. I sucked his dick. I did so happily. Eager. Excited. Desperately yearning to please him.
Emotions of sadness and disbelief filled my head. So many questions circled around those emotions too. Part of me knew that I’d kicked into survival mode and was desperate to survive.
The other part knew that I’d loved lots of it.
No. No. I didn’t.
Birds sang outside. Their melodic chirps flowed in soulful bursts. The birds continued to call to each other, singing and harmonizing. Each chirp broke those sexually-charged memories of terror.
I let out a long breath and considered what time it must be.
The sun will be coming up soon.
Movement happened on the bed.
Oh no. He’s lying next to me too?
I didn’t know why I figured I would be by myself.
Slowly, I turned my head to the left. I could barely make out his huge frame in the darkness.
His deep words came out low. “Are you awake?”
I froze in silence.
Chapter 14
Tears, Idle Tears
Phoenix
D
on’t say anything.
“Phoenix?” Cain’s voice rose within the darkness. “I thought I heard you scream. I thought I felt you moving.”
Don’t let him know that I’m awake.
I shivered and tried to hold my breath in.
“Yes.” He must’ve felt that too. “You’re up.”
He rolled over.
A click sounded.
Dim light filled the bedroom’s space.
Cain turned back my way, sat up, and towered over me. Shirtless, his huge biceps flexed with the movement.
Terror clutched my heart.
He rubbed his face with both hands and then ran them through his hair.
Silent and anxious, I watched him.
It was cruel how good-looking he was. It broke my heart to gaze at that chiseled face, that dark, silky black hair, and even those cold, blue eyes.
I bet when he walked into the room, women paused from what they were doing and gaped. Some probably drooled. I bet it was an everyday occurrence, so much that he never noticed those frozen, gawking women dripping and drooling.
He probably assumed all men experienced that reaction.
Even worse, calm rushed over me. All the gloom fell away. My sadness continued, but it felt less thick, less suffocating to my lungs, less pressure in my chest.
Cain set his view on me. “How do you feel?”
I widened my eyes in shock. “Are you talking to me?”
“I am.”
“I’m. . .fine. . .for being kidnapped.”
He smirked. “I wouldn’t say you were kidnapped.”
Uh. Excuse me?
I raised my bound wrists. “I’m not kidnapped?”
“It’s not the same. This is business, ruled by a criminal world. Last night, you weren’t exactly, innocently sitting around and minding your business when I grabbed you.”
That’s fair.
He reached for me.
I tensed.
He grabbed my blanket and pulled it down by my waist. “How does your body feel?”
I stared at him in shock. “What?”
“How does your body feel?”
I cleared my throat. “Sore and aching. And. . .kind of. . .good. Maybe. I don’t know.”