Xavier carries me into my bedroom and silently tucks me into bed. As he pushes strands of hair off my face, I fight back tears, and I know he can tell. Still, he doesn’t say a word.
“Sleep with me,” I beg, even though I know it won’t work. He’s a man of his word, and I know he won’t touch me no matter how much I beg., though I’m not ashamed of trying to change his mind.
“You know I can’t, angel. But I can stay in the room with you,” he offers, making me nod weakly. He sits in the armchair opposite of my bed and watches as I turn in the bed so I’m facing him.
“Do you even like it when we kiss?” I whisper.
“Don’t ask those questions, Tallulah,” he growls a warning. “You know I can’t answer them yet.”
“A couple of months won’t change much.”
“They’ll change everything,” he replies. “Be a good girl and go to sleep. Tomorrow, I’ll show you just how proud I am.”
My eyelids are getting heavy, but I’m afraid of falling asleep and missing his presence. Still, I can’t fight my tiredness. Shame and regret fill me as I remember digging my claws into that girl’s face. She was innocent. This is all Xavier’s doing. Him playing twisted little games with me to make me submit to him. And he’s winning.
The next day begins with a maid opening the curtains in my room. Several others walk in, carrying items. There’s a bouquet of roses two of them struggle with. A rack of clothes. Boxes upon boxes of shoes and jewelry.
But none of it matters, because Xavier isn’t here anymore.
I drifted off to sleep last night. I’m grateful for his presence, but there’s something I must do before I allow myself to enjoy them. I send the maids out and sit down at the desk in the room, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen.
I write, crossing out some words and pouring my heart out on paper. I’m writing an apology letter. Not to Xavier, but the girl I hurt. I know what it’s like to be caught in the cruel world of the cartel. She was at no fault for my attack. I let my jealousy get the best of me.
Yet as I recall the moment her tongue met Xavier’s neck, I see red again.
I crumple up the paper, wanting to scream as I rip it up.
Then, I take a deep breath and start writing the letter again. My hand absent-mindedly pets the dogs next to me. They’re my faithful companions, always watching out for me. Zeus monitors Antonio while Hades lets me spoil him with kisses and strokes.
I can feel Antonio watching me. He’s the only one left in the room now that the maids have left, and even though he’s silent as always, his penetrating gaze is on me, as if demanding answers for last night. I don’t acknowledge him. He’s just a guard and I don’t owe him a thing.
Once I’m done with the letter, I hand it to Antonio and tell him who it’s for. He nods and silently hands it over to another guard before resuming his watchful position, his hand holding that damn gun like always.
“Don’t you ever get sick of watching me like a damn dog?” I hiss at him. “I got Zeus and Hades now. Maybe I don’t even need you.”
“Unless don Xavier says otherwise, I’m staying,” he mutters. I’m surprised he spoke up at all. Usually, he just ignores my snarky replies.
“Fine,” I roll my eyes. “Contribute to my captivity.”
“Not contributing.” He narrows his eyes at me. “Merely watching you, so you don’t get into any more trouble.”
“I’m an angel, didn’t you know?” I purr, making him roll his eyes back. I laugh out loud. “You’re not as boring as you seem after all.”
He doesn’t reply, his mouth setting in a thin line again. He keeps staring, though.
“It’s good to see you remorseful for hurting that poor girl,” he mutters.
“She had it coming. But I feel bad for lashing out.”
“Hence the apology letter,” he smirks, making me nod. “Lotta good that’ll do. She might be scarred because of your little talons.”
“Maybe she’ll learn not to lick what’s mine,” I shrug innocently.
“Was it worth it?”
My eyes snap to his in surprise. “What?”
“What you did,” he mutters. “Were you rewarded the way you hoped?”
My heart pounds. I don’t have a confidant in the Casa, but Antonio feels the closest to one. “Not rewarded enough.”
He seems thoughtful, prompting me to add, “Xavier refuses to touch me until I’m of age.”
“Seems reasonable,” Antonio huffs, averting his gaze. His knuckles tighten around the gun.
“It’s not,” I moan. “He’s denied me what I want most...”
Antonio’s eyes meet mine again and I know I’ve got him wrapped around my little finger as he asks, “What is it you want most, Tallulah Gunn?”