Exhausted, he covered her back with his chest, wanting to feel every inch of her skin, but he was too heavy to stay like that for long. He only enjoyed the luxury for a moment before he untied her and pulled her into his lap. She clung to him like a drowning person to a raft, her head buried against his neck. The hand that had dished out the pain now gave the remedy, soothing her with gentle strokes on her back.
Later, when her body went slack, he laid her on the bed and rubbed ointment into the marks he’d left. Then turned her on her back and made love to her gently, taking his time to kiss her lips. She didn’t come, but that wasn’t the point. The point was giving comfort.
Holding her in his arms afterward, he could feel the exact moment her tension returned.
She rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m frightened.”
He couldn’t answer, not because he didn’t have words, but because he was terrified. He kissed the top of her head. “You’re all I have. I won’t let them touch you.”
“Ivan?”
“Princess?”
“You could make me stay.”
He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “By tying you to my bed?”
He’d said it jokingly because Alice always did what Alice wanted. She wouldn’t let him dictate to her, no matter how much he liked to believe he could tell her what to do.
“By using your gift.”
He went still. “Who told you about that?”
“Joss. We discussed it on the way here when I tried to understand why Godfrey wanted your power.”
“I guess I could make you stay if I wanted.”
“Why don’t you?”
“I want you to stay because you want to.”
“You don’t need me. There are hundreds of girls out there who’d be happily tied to your bed.” She added with a hint of hurt in her tone, “You’ve got your groupies.”
Ah, so she’d found out.
“They’re only here for a charity job.” He kissed her lips. “I don’t need anyone else but you.”
“Why me?”
He didn’t miss the insecurity in that question. The fear of abandonment was still eating her, and he was as much to blame as her mother and father.
He thought about his answer, how to give it as truthfully as possible. God could strike him dead, but he couldn’t lie to her and tell her he loved her. This was beyond love. Way bigger. More than life and death together. What he felt for her exceeded lifetimes and quantifying criteria. His need to own and protect her was the kind of fucked-up obsession that would follow his soul into the afterlife and on, into the forever she wanted.
Finally, he said, “This darkness that’s in me, it’s attracted to your light. I need you like fire needs oxygen. You’re my flame, and I’m your moth.”
“I’m the one who’s going to get burned.”
“I’ve already crashed and burned a long time ago. Go to sleep. We have an early plane to catch.”
“Ivan?”
“Yes, Princess?”
“I think my mother is here.” She added quickly, “I don’t mean here, in the room, but around.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I see her in my dreams. Sometimes, I hear her footsteps, and when I’m alone, it feels like someone is watching me.”
The world came crushing down on him. His body went rigid. If she could feel a presence, it could very well be Boris.
“Listen to me.” He wiped the hair from her face. “If you feel like this, ever again, I want you to call me immediately, understand?”
“Why?”
“I’m not taking any chances.”
“Chances with what?”
“That someone is watching you.”
“You’re the one in danger, not me.”
His heart flipped over like a fish out of water and just about died. “Just do it, all right?”
“Can you call up my mother?” she asked in an uncertain voice.
“Why would you want me to do that?”
“To know if she’s happy. To know what she wants, why she’s trying to connect with me.”
Beneath her uncertainty, there was hope. She still wanted her mother to tell her she loved her. He didn’t want to crash her fragile self-esteem further, but he already knew her mother wasn’t the repenting type. Spirits didn’t change simply because they weren’t human, any longer. Their essence remained the same. He didn’t have a cure for her need, so he said again, “Go to sleep.”
She nestled against him with a little sigh, a smile playing on her lips.
In the early morning hours, Alice woke with a pounding headache like she always did after crying that much. It surprised and pleased her that Ivan was still in her bed, the sheets twisted around his gorgeous body. He was all hard muscle and tough heart. She hoped she’d be able to forgive herself for her lack of self-control later. His pull was simply too hard to resist. She wanted to abstain from sleeping with him until she’d decided about her future, but every second with him seemed too precious to waste.